Bathroom Break with Ghazy: Ghana Match Predictions

Here’s my prediction for Egypt’s crunch qualifier against Ghana. I have hope:

Third minute: Treka threads a sick ball to make Salah 1v1 with their keeper. Their CB slices him from behind unnecessarily and Zaki makes a meal of it.

CB sent off, Treka scores penalty.

Now the Ghanians are feeling sick and worried and start playing haphazardly.

Bradley teaches the word “nigger” to the players the day before and that’s all they keep saying to the players until Gyan losses his cool and punches Zaki in the throat during a routine corner kick (we’re all happy because we all want to smack Zaki’s annoying face too).

Two men down in 20 minutes.

Goalkeeper makes a blunder right before half time and Salah scores.

We go in the dressing room two men up, two goals up and high spirited.

Even Morsi and Sisi are hand in hand watching this miracle unfold.

Second half kicks off and the dispirited Ghana concede a free kick outside the area.

Who else but Treka to smash it in the top right corner! The crowd goes mental! 3-0 up with a whole 38 minutes to go!

The Ghanians are now parking the bus. They’re shitting their pants. It seems like 2010 all over again. Flashbacks of heartache… Gedo and Suarez…

The most unlikely source scores a belter for number four! Fathy cuts inside the edge of the area and surprises us with a left footed curler reminiscent of the one he scored against Sweden a few years ago.

Now Egypt are giving it all they have. Fighting tooth and nail to have this golden generation’s dream finally come true: a ticket to Brazil.

The fourth official lifts up the stoppage time.

Three minutes to save themselves. Three minutes to save Egyptians from foyr more years of Magdi Abdel Ghani. Three minutes to set 90 million people in extreme euphoria.

PENALTY!

Kingston brings down Salah in the area.

Here we go!

Treka steps up. We can bet our mortgage on him.

The stadium is hushed. The streets of Egypt, from Cairo to Beni Seuif, are hushed. You can hear a pin drop from miles away.

TREKKKKKKKA!!!!!!!

Fuck dang it all.

Suddenly Kingston becomes Superman and pulls off an impossible save.

And quietly grinning in the background is Magdi Abdel Ghani.

So that’s my prediction, ladies and gentlemen. We get so close and then screw it all up like we always do.

At least we get to break a sweat.

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