Mommy Diaries: I Want it All

People are always discussing how difficult it’s going to be for our children once they’re teenagers. Temptations will be everywhere, more so than they are now supposedly. We always hear jokes about how drugs will be accessible online instantly and on and on about all the different horrors a mother of two girls just loves to hear about.

I used to worry about these things all the time, prematurely of course, Z Money just said mama for the first time last week. 

Then, a sense of calm took over me. I wish I could credit it to some form of sedative or anti-anxiety medication but unfortunately I haven’t the slightest idea where to get some. I do however think it has something to do with me finally being able to erase the words “maternity” and “nursing” from my wardrobe… 

One day while watching my littles play together I realized that they were mine, and I was all theirs. What kind of people they turn into will largely be affected by their daddio and I. And seeing as how he’s our superman working like mad to support my designer bag addiction, it’s mostly in my hands.

Rather than panic, I decided that makes my job much easier. Now I worry about more important things, like what kind of a human being do I want L Boogie and Z Money to turn into? Just how much am I going to push them to become goal-oriented people? Or am I going to put my energy into pushing them to conform to society’s norms. It’s all up to me.

I think I’m going to focus more on the pleases and thank you’s than on which schools to put them in.  We’re so caught up on their resumes, we stop paying attention to them.  We should be caught up on spending one and one time with each of our littles.  It’s the day-to-day real life part that makes a person.

So, I’ve decided I’m going to focus on L and Z exclusively. Not the schools they get into, not their activities, not whether or not they stick to our nazi bedtime regimen but whether or not they are learning to be kind people.

I want it all for them. I want them to be beautiful, kind, respectful girls. I don’t want them to be like the people we see (are?) everyday. I want the best of the world for them. Education, manners, social skills, a good circle of friends or even just one kickass friend that makes it all worthwhile.

And if I can be skinny while doing all of the above, that would be awesome.