Facebook Harvardeers And Garbage Alexandreers

Gabr residence, 1:00 AM; over 24 hours passed this article’s deadline.

Amira Gabr – simply, known as “Gabr” – is bashing (as always) Jackie Khoury’s – a.k.a “Pinkie” – essay-writing capabilities for her MBA application. Gabr paces the room with a cigarette in hand (again, as always) arguing her case, while Pinkie lies on bed pouting with eyes glued to her laptop screen hardly even listening.

GABR: (In mid sentence, furiously turning to Pinkie) WTF?! Am I talking to myself? (Pinkie does not respond). JACKIIIEEE!!!

PINKIE: (innocently) What did I do now?

GABR: (matter of factly) You’re not listening! (Pinkie goes back to her laptop screen). And you’re doing it AGAIN!!!

PINKIE: (looks up; puppy faced) Thowwy… (Pinkie glances at the laptop screen)

GABR: What the hell on that laptop can be more important than discussing your MBA application?

PINKIE: (hesitantly) Stuff…

GABR: (dumbfounded) That big, huh? (Pinkie pouts and nods. Gabr sits on the bed next to Pinkie). What’s wrong, babe?

PINKIE: (nostrils flaring) I’ve been working my royal butt off for 9 years, Amira Gabr; 9 YEARS!!! What does that tell you? I am nothing like those friends of ours! I don’t just sit around waiting for life to happen miraculously! (jumps off bed, picks up a cigarette and starts pacing the room) And now that I’ve decided to up my career and go for an MBA, there go those smart pricks I have for friends telling me over Facebook that there is no way a creative/manager like me would ever get into Harvard, Stanford, Insead or London Business School!

And what more?! They lecture me on how ALL my career choices were wrong, that the fact that I fantasize about schools like Stanford and Insead is yet ANOTHER stupid decision.

I don’t have time. I just don’t have time. I don’t have a PAPI willing to cater to an extravagant lifestyle while I drink booze and party until the wee hours of the morning or cash out as a corporate whore from a job that who got me?! PAPI! (losing it) and to IMAGINE the flying garbage out of windows at the Four Seasons in Alex… FREAKING crème de la crème de la society MY ASS!!! (collapses on the bed).

GABR: (interjects) Where exactly does the flying garbage fit in all of this?

PINKIE: (glaring) OH, it SO fits! (sits up to start pacing again) All these –

GABR: (holding her down) Can you just – shit, you’re radiating heat, again. (lets go of her arm and moves on the bed to switch on the air conditioning. Pinkie sits back down; frustrated). Are you done?

PINKIE: I am FAR from done. That weekend I spent in Alex was HORRENDOUS. I stayed at the Four Seasons after my (shivers all over) “ikh” experience at Sheraton Montazah, which was so DIRTY and way beyond its renovation due date that I’m surprised it continues to hold a (raises her hands making “air quotations”) five star rating.

I’d wake up at 8:00 AM in the morning and watch, in utter SHOCK, residents throwing empty soda cans, pieces of bread and plastic bags off their balconies. The sea and the beach were FULL of garbage! Apparently, Four Seasons management has two life-guards whose SOLE task is to go into the water and constantly filter out garbage; wasn’t helping! Oh, and shisharesidues thrown all over the lawn.

And when you get out of that luxurious building, you find insulting graffiti – no, wait; I wouldn’t EVEN call it “graffiti”; it’s just spray painted crap – all over the corniche. Alexandria has been TOTALLY ruined for me; RUINED. What can we expect now?! Huh?!

If the ELITE provides such behavior as an example, how do you expect the REST to behave like? This place is BEYOND lost. EVEN the ones educated abroad have NOTHING to add to this place. The ONE thing they ACTUALLY manage to do is put the people like ME trying to do SOMETHING with their lives down while they CONTINUE to cash out! And they’re pretty DARN good at that… Didn’t HARVARD teach them ANYTHING about environmental causes?! Don’t LITTER?! RECYCLE?! And I’m SO NOT gonnastart on FULLY DRESSED people swimming in pools in GOUNA!!!

GABR: (Having listened intently and patiently) NOW, are you done?

PINKIE: (affirmatively) YES! (calmly, Gabr gets up, lights a cigarette, and leans against the wall) Are you NOT surprised?

GABR: Hardly. (Takes a drag). You need to filter your Facebook friends list though…