We love our dear mothers for tolerating our unnecessary drama, bad grades, continuous nagging, never finding our clothes when it’s right in front of us, refusing to do the dishes and choosing the wrong people to fall in love with, but mommies of Egypt, you need to promise us to consider these new year’s resolutions because we’ve kind of had enough.
1. I will never throw a shebsheb at my kid while talking on the phone
2. I will stop asking my son to marry my best friend’s daughter
3. I will stop forcing my daughter to get a neesh
4. I will continue to breathe, even though my daughter is single at 30
5. I will not tell my son “Es7a ba2ina El3asr” at 8 AM
6. I will start accepting that life will not end if my children didn’t inherit my china plates
7. I will allow my daughter to go out with her friends instead of telling her, “Lama tetgawezy et2akhari zai ma enty 3yza”, because you know her husband won’t allow it
8. When I invite 4 people over for dinner, I will not cook a thousand main dishes
9. I will stop treating molokheya as a daily soup
10. I will not recycle fanelat for cleaning purposes
11. I will understand that el7asad is not why I fell on the stairs, it was my high heels
12. I will stop turning my children into Michelin man in winter with all the layering
13. I will try to not call my family at work to ask what they want for lunch
14. “Mesh nawyeen tegeebo baby?” will never leave my mouth again
15. I will not force my daughter to meet any 3aris
16. I will stop saying, “E7na beneshtery ragel” when I plan on asking for a 100k shabka and a villa
17. And finally, I will not add samna on my daughter’s steamed vegetables when she is dieting
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Signs You Have an Egyptian Mom