Every time I mention in front of my 20-year-old friends that I’m days away from hitting my mid-30s, I can see the sheer panic on their faces. Guys, calm the hell down, you’re almost there yourselves, and FYI being in your 30s has turned out to be a piece of cake and full of pros.
Here are some awesome facts you need to understand about hitting the big three:
You don’t get a nervous break down when you miss an outing
When you gain weight, people blame your slow metabolism behind your back and feel grateful you look that good at such an age
Girls are smarter! You don’t ever leave the house with just heels. Flip flops or sneakers must be packed in your bag in case of, you know, emergencies
Nelly Karim’s mosalsalat become more exciting than clubbing at 6ix Degrees
You know who your real friends are and they’re usually school mates
You have responses for every fight because all fights are repetitive
You are not impressed by snobs and showoffs any freakin’ more
If you yourself were the snob, the world must have cured you by being in your 30s
You will have enough courage to get rid of those earrings that give you headaches. This never ever happens in your 20s
When someone screws you over, you’re never that shocked
In your 20s you are subconsciously blunt, in your 30s you are consciously blunt
You are never ashamed of admitting your love for the most random people, in my case it’s Magued ElMasry
It doesn’t matter how much you fake it in front of that posh friend because you will be caught saying ‘A7eeeih’
The 30s is when you love yourself, and by yourself I mean cellulite. It might also mean botox time
It is the age when you finally believe that ex-lover who told you about your flaws 10 years ago, however it still doesn’t matter because in your head you are #goals
WE SAID THIS: Guys, 30s are just an extension to our dumb life decisions.