Mommy Diaries: Don’t Throw Apples At Mommy

Yesterday while I was discussing some very important matters on the phone with a friend, L Boogie ran into the room and started aiming her apple at my head. I politely ended my conversation and told L with my calm and collected indoor voice that if she threw the apple at me she would be immediately sent to the “naughty corner”.

Obviously she threw the apple at me.

So, I calmly stood up, and led her by her hand to the naughty corner. She stood there for about a minute. She then decided she had done her time and tried to walk away. I calmly escorted her back and used my “serious” voice to tell her that she threw the apple at mommy, and that until she apologized she would remain in the naughty corner.

This is when the screaming began.

I tried to explain to her that all she had to do was say the word sorry. She looked down at me from the tip of her nose and turned away and said in the most Egyptian of ways: no.

So, rather than causing her any bodily harm, I calmly walked away.

She stopped screaming. Took a deep breath. Faced the wall with the utmost style and grace, until she began to sing a Chris Brown song as loudly as possible.

L stood in the naughty corner for over 70 minutes. I would randomly walk by and tell her to apologize and I’ll let her go play. And she would just turn away and say no.

70 minutes later she began crying. I went, gave her a hug, and told her I wanted nothing more than to take her to the playground and play with her. All she had to do was apologize. And again, she said the one word that has the ability to make my blood boil and my inner hulk break loose. No.

About ten minutes after that, I walked by and she looked at me and apologized.

I couldn’t believe it. I won. I didn’t break. I outlasted my terrible-two-year old… until this morning, when she walked in to my room… and threw an apple at me.