Since I’ve been going hardcore style and beauty since I started with Scoop, I’ve decided to try out some stylish laughs. The other day, I was watching MTV and the infamous “Snookie & Jwoww” came on – the spinoff from the “Jersey Shore” reality show.
While I was laughing about what had probably been the lowest 20 minutes of my lifetime IQ, I couldn’t help but notice how familiar their looks are. Where have I seen similar style? Oh, I know, in Sa7el and Zamalek.
Other than behavioral similarities, here’s a take on how Jersey fashionistas seem to be quite the inspiration for “classy” Egyptian girls.
Designer overload
We get that your father – or whoever you’re calling “daddy” – is rich, and we get that you’ve spent last summer shopping in Europe, but there is no need to wear head-to-toe designer. Oh, all of your bags are MK? Snookie started that trend.
Not-So-Natural
The fake, only natural if you can actually swim with them, beachy waves. The hairspray craze over straightening, and ohmygod everybody has extensions. The long, acrylic, porn star nails – well, enough said. The cooked-carrot tan – on guys and girls. And boob jobs. Boob jobs are becoming like dental checks, suddenly everybody seems to have gone up a cup or two.
Skimp
I can understand why Jersey people wear skimpy outfits – no, not really, just kidding – but why do girls and guys in Egypt feel the need to show off everything they have? You go to the beach and everybody’s pushing their boobs up to the maximum (showing off the money they spent, probably), while the guys are lounging around in graphic hot shorts… well, alright, I’ll give the guys a pass. It is the beach after all.
At the club, I feel like some people forgot the rest of their outfits at home. Newsflash guys: The whole tight, show-off-your muscles t-shirt 1.) is only worn by Pauly D and Simon Cowell and 2.) your nipples are showing. Girls, it’s not a dress if I can see your underwear.
Quote-Unquote Cool
I love ripped jeans, I really do, but does the entire pant leg, hip to ankle, need to be ripped? Not so much.
FYI, neon lipstick with fake lashes and too many mainstream tattoos qualifies you to be the new cast member for “The Jersey Shore”.
Animal prints for guys and girls? Too much. Spending the amount equivalent to a diamond ring on a cheetah print hoodie doesn’t make you look classy, it makes you look like a douche.
Stripper heels on the beach – that’s classic Jersey, but considered “chic” in sa7el.
And Egyptians seem to be experts at wearing too many trends at a time. Knee high boots with shorts? Really?
Non-fashion Bonus
The overdrinking, the shouting, the overdose of Instagram selfies, the constant fights, duck faces, vulgarity, weird nicknames… sound familiar?
WE SAID THIS: If you’re taking fashion cues from “Jersey Shore”, DON’T. Just don’t.