Truths I’ve Learned About Motherhood in My Baby’s First Year

Hey mothers-to-be, I’ve decided to share my experience on how it was to transition from my I’m-not-a-mom to I’m-actually-a-mom-omg phase. Here’s everything you will know to be true in your first year of motherhood.

 

 

You can’t wait until your baby eats solids, but now you want it to stop. You can’t wait until your baby crawls, but now you want it to stop. You can’t wait till your baby walks, but now you want it to stop. Be careful what you wish for, exciting becomes exhausting really quick

 

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Nothing is more satisfying than checking between your baby’s butt crack and finding all poop removed. NOTHING!

 

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Wait, there is something more satisfying – a previously full but now empty thermos food container. Do a little dance Mama, do a little dance

 

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Yes, I used the same GIF because this is the satisfying GIF.

 

Every mother needs a night out. Do not judge the crazy slightly inappropriate lady on the table, and don’t you dare ask her about her kids. See no evil , hear no evil, ya dig?!

 

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After lugging around a more than ten kilo mini person that pushes, pinches and cries, if you are actually at the gym doing bicep curls, you deserve an award. Clap for that mother at the gym, give her a bloody trophy, better yet, give her a bloody Mary

 

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People who have no kids think you’re no longer human, they think that you’re a thing that makes babies that only makes babies that only made babies that has nothing going on but babies

 

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Your brain actually has the magical ability to retain, remember, and recite every nursery rhyme by heart. Those things are so freakin’ annoying that even years of listening to great music can’t get rid of them. If you’re happy and you know it clap your effing hands

 

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Why buy that super nice dress when you can buy a super expensive toy that will entertain your child for five minutes straight and then get tossed in a box filled with other toys that depleted your last month’s bank account. Why fe3lan?

 

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Days will come when sand seems to be an alternative to food, and that’s okay, just as long as no sand is actually consumed! #NoSandEVER

 

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There’s nothing a smile from your little monster can’t make better. You will wholeheartedly believe that their smile can grow flowers and end wars, and it’s the best damn feeling in this world!

 

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WE SAID THIS: To all the mothers out there, cheers!

 

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