Mommy Diaries: Power to the Mamas

My kids have been on their Spring Break all week. It’s been fun, but there is a trend I’ve picked up on that’s really beginning to piss me off. I’m pregnant. I’m very pregnant. I’m as pregnant as can be pregnant.

So for me, I would always rather be sitting on the couch than doing anything else. Especially not running after kids in play areas and playgrounds gathering their water bottles and sweaters. But, this is their break, so I would like to make the most of it. I pack my Maalox in my oversized bag and hit the road with them.

The problem is that after a super long day of lots of effort on my part, my kids aren’t very grateful. I get the run of the mill “thank you, mommy,” but not the fireworks I deserve. Now yes, I understand that parenting is a thankless job, but nobody likes an ungrateful brat.

So they need to understand that I am exhausted because rather than relaxing my very pregnant self, I am carpooling and rallying up kids their age for their entertainment. It is, technically, their fault. Not only that but L Boogie has the audacity to lecture me on why I’m going out after she goes to bed without her. It isn’t fair, she says. I already had fun in the morning, why do I get to have fun again?

Excuse me?

Well that’s it, ladies and gentlemen.

Why are my generally polite kids such jerks at the end of the day? Because they think that I am doing this for myself. I dress them up, pack their lunches and drive them to different over priced play areas with a bunch of their friends because that is how I would like to spend my day.

Why do they have this impression?

Because I am an idiot.

I make plans with fellow mamas with the intention of entertaining my monsters. I rush them and hush them into their outfits because their friends are waiting. I make them feel like they are obligated to go because I already told some monkey’s mom that we were going and it would be rude to change plans or to go late, right?

Wrong.

From now on, I will only take my kids places they want to go. No, scratch that. I will only take them to places once they’ve begged and pleaded with me. I will throw in conditions. I will make them clean their rooms, perhaps even the windows, too. I will make them earn my exhaustion. They will have to go down on their knees and kiss the ring before I rush my very round self for them again.

And I highly suggest you do the same. For your sanity, at least.

Power to the mamas.

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Mommy Diaries: Stop Raising Jerks.