“Enty 3yza elnas te2oul eh?” said every single Egyptian mom. I love Egypt, no matter how ugly things get. Just the thought of packing everything up and leaving hurts my soul — that is, until I remember that we all tend to overreact and call everything a fedi7a.
It is a never-changing fact, it’s embedded in our chromosomes and, at times, it is too hilarious that I decided it should be one Egypt’s perks instead of flaws. The thing is, now that I have a child, I’m just as hysterical and overprotective as every mom I ever made fun of. Karma is vicious.
Here are some signs you are about to cause a family fedi7a, so you better start preparing a speech for your parents:
You want to get a tattoo
You got in a car with a boy
You screwed up in Thanaweya Amma, like big time!
You can smoke a shisha and no one will say a thing, but touch a cigarette and all hell breaks loose
Your wedding cost less than a million, poor you. How can you live with yourself?
Your shabka is smaller than your cousin’s. Manzarna eh odam 3ametek?
The bawab sees a friend of yours visiting. Your friend is a guy, by the way. Oh, and you’re a girl!
Leaving the house wearing anything that shows skin
Women mentioning sex in front of men
Women cursing in front of men. “Mmm, gari2a awi”
Going to a wedding in a dress with your work colleagues, being yourself and dancing. It never ends well.
“I have some gossip for you. Guess what? Her son goes to a national school” *moves lips from side to side*
A single woman over 40 who still enjoys dating
A bad English accent
Enjoying your life as a divorced woman. That’s disgusting. Why aren’t you crying in some corner?
“Eh da? Heya betsalem we teboos?”
And the biggest taboo of all time: a single girl living alone in the city
May God have mercy on us all.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 9 Stereotypes Egyptian Need To Get Rid Of.