Mommy Diaries: Mommy System

Put two moms in a room and I’ll bet you money they’ll have lots to talk about. Delivery stories, sleepless nights, useless husbands, swing sets… we have plenty in common.  And while all our struggles usually revolve around our kids, you still meet that mom. You know what I’m talking about. The mom who looks down on you because your kid is eating an apple slice… that fell on the floor… that you wiped on your jeans.

How do they do it?

I see them everywhere. Stilletos, skinny, and sunglasses so big they’d put Jackie O to shame. They are the Victoria Beckham’s of our time. Their kids, like themselves, are drowning in designer clothes without a booger in sight.

Or there are the others. These, my friends, are the moms with an unhealthy fear of high fructose corn syrup and all things that come in wrappers. And while I aspire to be one of those, I must admit, sometimes a Mentos is all L Boogie needs to get off my back. I take no pride in bribing my children with candy, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

Plus I’m a firm believer in my kids having a well balanced diet. A little bit of everything every now and then can’t hurt. Right?

And yes, sometimes L and Z pass out in the car and I just put them in bed, no bath or pj’s, but hey, wouldn’t it be worse to wake them from their slumber? Yes, we dance on the kitchen counter dangerously close to the edge. We run around the garden barefoot in our pajamas. We bake cakes that turn the kitchen into a warzone. We lick the frosting off the spoon and eat the batter raw. But it works.  Plus, a little madness and change in schedule is healthy. Who wants their kids to turn into rigid adults who can’t adapt to change? You see, I have this all worked out. Really. There’s a system in place that perhaps the untrained eye can’t pick up. It’s my mommy system and it works.  I highly recommend it!