Filmmaker Sherif Gabr Writes the Saddest Letter to His Deceased Abusive Father
One of the most difficult things is to open up on social media and lay your inner most feelings on the table, especially when you have 50 thousand followers. Not everyone can feel your pain or sympathize with you, and people tend to brutally judge you, yet Sherif Gabr just wrote the most intense, raw and heart-wrenching letter to his deceased father for closure. He literally left Egyptians weeping on Facebook including myself.
A final letter from a son to his abusive father is the only thing that matters today.
“Today is your birthday, dad. I mean it’s the day of your death, so let me tell you a couple of things for closure because I am tired.
You thought you raised me when you were alive, controlled by a simple look, taught me to say 7ader, beat me when I said enta, you made me fear wrong decisions, I feared decisions themselves. You did what no slave did to his son, swearing, humiliation, degrading, beating. You were innovative, you always had an excuse.
Although you were great in front of people, everyone praised you outside our home, they never knew who you really were. They never knew how you excelled at hypocrisy. Back then and until now I used to hear the words, 3eeb he is your father and he is worried about you, tomorrow you’ll forget how you’ve we’ve been beaten. It’s okay. They tell me to remember the good things you did for me, so let me remind you.
Remember when you came met my school teacher in grade 7, who told you I’m always inattentive and lost in class. We left school, you were laughing, I didn’t know why. Then beat me with a wire while I was naked. Then after you left my body dying, you told me to go take a shower so I catch the science lesson. The science teacher saw the marks on my hand and she kept looking until I cried, and I couldn’t say a word. I still remember that day as if it was yesterday.
Remember when I was in grade 4 and you didn’t like my final grades? You kept laughing the whole day as if you were happy then woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me I won’t feel good until I beat you. Do you remember the look I gave you? I remember it.
Remember when you used to wake me up to beat me, because I slept after you’ve beaten me without apologizing to you? Remember when you told me my calm spirit was caused by a demon and took me to a sheikh to take it out of me? Remember when he told you he’s possessed and must bathe with holy water for a week? I was smarter than you. I threw the water away because I knew there is no demon but you.
Remember when you used to beat me because when you sweared at me I easily cried? And you told me to man up? Remember when I ran away from home 11 times because of you? Do you even know what happened to me out there? Unfortunately, you don’t.
Remember when I found out you kept a notebook about me after I ran away more than once and you wrote in it “that animal ran away for the 4th time for a week then returned like a dog, he’s been dealt with and trying to fix him again…?
Remember?
I just want to tell you that regardless of all what you did to me, I didn’t turn out to be bad, I’m not like you, I’ve never touched anyone and I always want good for others, and I even love those who hate me. You didn’t know how to raise me with your hypocrisy, way, thoughts or life. People feel proud to be raised. I am proud I wasn’t. I don’t need anyone to raise me but me. I made myself in the worst circumstances without blaming anyone.
Although I am 23-years-old and I made myself into something better than everything around me, yet I have never been satisfied with myself and I want to tell you that one day I’ll be something good. Something so good and important that I’ll be satisfied with myself.
You gave me the most dangerous thing anyone can give a human. You removed the word dignity from my dictionary. You turned me into someone who doesn’t understand the word “insult.” You never made me feel like I was a winner. I always thought of myself as a failure. You made me love loss until I loved loss more than winning. You tried to plant in me never ending hate. You made me feel what it’s like to lose yourself.
Imagine, for six years without you, and 23 years, you are still the only nightmare that wakes me up at night crying. Imagine that your death wasn’t enough. I’m not saying this to blame you, You are not worthy of my care. My life is more precious than you. I just want to tell you watch me. Watch me living and you are dead.”
WE SAID THIS: This is so perfect, beautiful and powerful. I have never seen someone as brave as this young man.
