You Know You’re Egyptian When…

If any of these look vaguely familiar, then you are 100% Egyptian.

 

 

 

1. You tour a non-Egyptian museum and roll your eyes like, “Brotha, puleez! You call this history?!?”

 

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2. You always try to convince foreigners that you’re a direct descendant of King Tut or Queen Nefertiti

 

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3. You use the phrase “YALAHWY!!!” when you only actually meant “Oh, really?”

 

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4. You always have a belly ready for belly dancing!

 

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5. You try to bargain at high-end stores and can’t grasp the concept of set prices

 

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6. You’re super smart but can NEVER understand traffic signs

 

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7. You’re walking down a crowded street in a foreign city and shed a tear (of happiness or sadness depending on what you like) because no one yelled at you “hiz ya wiz” or “ya mozza”

 

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8. You get offended when you offer someone food and they tell you they’re “full”

 

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9. You’re always running late because you religiously follow EST: Egyptian Standard Time

 

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10. You believe in all conspiracy theories and believe that you’re part of one

 

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11. You can parallel park ANYWHERE

 

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12. Your body instantaneously loses control and starts convulsing when it hears the tabla

 

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13. You feel like a traitor when you don’t have every single word of Abdel Halim Hafiz’s songs memorized

 

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14. You always carry Antinal (anti-parasitic medicine) and offer it to anyone with abdominal pain

 

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15. Your talking decibel level is off the charts

 

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16. You offer your services for free but then become furious with whatever you’re paid

 

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17. You can play ANY song… with your car horn

 

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18. You find a seed on the shower floor and wonder if it’s a missing seed from your azz’azzing lib or if it’s from your leefa

 

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19. You always wonder who was the last person to give you the evil eye before you tripped

 

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20. People can’t quite figure out what race you are

 

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21. You hear the word tofa7 (apple) and all you can think of is shisha

 

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22. You immediately start speaking Arabic to ANY brown person you see in a foreign country

 

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23. You still get super excited to eat foul for dinner, even though you already had it for breakfast and lunch

 

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24. You always thought you were supposed to drive in the CENTER of those dotted lines on roads

 

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25. You recognize that there are only two ethnicities in this world: Ahly or Zamalak

 

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26. Your stomach growls when you see ducks swimming in a lake and you regret not having a net with you

 

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27. You think American football ezz soooo ezz stubid

 

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28. You pretend like you don’t smoke, even though everyone smokes

 

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29. You’ve become an expert politician against your will

 

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30. You learn how to sing the national anthem “Bilady, Bilady, Bilady” before you learn how to talk

 

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31. You don’t use Facebook to post pics of your dinner. You use it to START REVOLUTIONS

 

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32. You think EVERYTHING is “kalam fady” except for one thing: EGYPT and that’s OM EL DONIA!!!!

 

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WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 19 Signs You Are Dating an Egyptian.

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