It’s that time of the year again, the time when everyone is optimistic thinking that they’re starting a new life writing Facebook statuses like “New Year, New Me” and making long bucket lists listing their New Year’s resolutions that they’re not going to achieve anyways.
And because we like to be realistic, we’ll be having a F*ck-It list instead. Life is too short not to enjoy its pleasures and luxuries.
So here’s our F*ck-It list for 2016:
1. F*ck it, I won’t eat healthier
Less ice cream, more broccoli my a**. We definitely won’t turn down any chance to have pizza or burgers and indulge in every chocolate we lay our eyes on.
2. F*ck it, I won’t drink more water
Because water is so 2015. Why quench your thirst with something tasteless, when you have a wide variety of sodas, slushies, smoothies and frappes?
3. F*ck it, I won’t learn something new
They say “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” and maybe they’re right. Why should you learn a new language or skill, when you already have enough valuable skills like ordering food online and watching Netflix?
4. F*ck it, I won’t lose weight
Who needs all these workouts like Crossfit and Wellness Logs, when you can embrace your curves and look like a panda? Pandas are cute, OKAY?
5. F*ck it, I will watch all the Ramadan TV shows
Because why spend your time watching quality content, when you can watch staged prank shows and the exact same storyline spread over 30 episodes,every single year?
6. F*ck it, I won’t spend more time with my family
We’ve already spent a lot of time with them when we were younger, so they should stop being clingy for a bit and let us be.
7. F*ck it, I won’t travel and see the world
Why go through the hassle of packing and going to new places and “seeing the world” when you already know that there’s nowhere more beautiful or comfy than under your blankets watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S episodes for the 97th time.
8. F*ck it, I won’t save money
Why should I save money to spend on my future kids’ college tuitions in 20 years, when there’s a 50% sale at H&M, RIGHT NOW? My kids can figure out a way to fend for themselves.
9. F*ck it, I won’t live a less stressful life
Why should I waste my time on pointless stuff like yoga and meditation? Who are you anyways to tell me THAT I NEED TO RELAX???!!!
10. Fuck it, I won’t have fake friends
Because simply life is too short to pretend to like someone who is a complete and utter waste of oxygen.
11. F*ck it, I won’t ever walk again
This isn’t the Stone Age. Why should we use our feet when we live in an age where there is an abundance of cars, planes and hoverboards?
12. F*ck it, I won’t obsess over boys/girls
We all know that we will have a minimum of 20 crushes this year, so why obsess over each single one of them, when we know for sure that it will only last for a couple of weeks … Or days.
13. F*ck it, I won’t experience new things
My life is not an episode of “Adventure Time”. I think at this point in time, I’ve experienced enough things in life to know what I like and what I don’t like. So no grandma, I won’t like “kharshoof” when I get older.
14. F*ck it, I won’t have goals
Because f*ck lists. I’m going to live life spontaneously, take it one day at a time and just try to enjoy every single f*uckin’ second of 2016.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Why You Should Start Your Next Chapter With No Resolutions