Egyptian malls are great. Everything you could ever need is under one roof. We’ve all spent long hours there with friends and anyone who says they don’t have memories there is probably lying. But in a place the size of our biggest malls, you’re sure to meet a few people who you won’t really get along with. Here are a few people we all try to avoid:
The Selfie Stickers
Can usually be found making duck faces at their phones. No one’s ever seen them without the selfie stick and we sometimes wonder if they’ve gotten them permanently glued to their hands. Although the selfie addiction may seem harmless at first, the flailing of the selfie sticks sometimes causes injuries.
The Tributes
These people make getting a table at the food court feel like competing in the Hunger Games. Things can get violent very quickly. They will steal, lie, cheat, bribe, and sacrifice their first born child in order to get a table.
The Mushroom Heads
No, we’re not talking about the mushroom you eat. We’re talking about those guys who put so much gel in their hair to get it to stand up straight or form an afro that they end up looking like walking mushrooms. It’s all fun and games until you end up behind them at the movie theatre. Good luck seeing anything.
The Ones Who Make Their Table Look Like a Crime Scene
Blood everywhere. Or is it ketchup? Either way, it’s not possible to sit on a table after they’re done with it unless you’re willing to devote a few hours of your time to clean up after them.
The Ones Who Talk Through the Entire Movie
“Aloo. La2 mesh ba3mel 7aga 3amel eh?”
Tip Me or I’ll Kill You
They can either be found in the bathroom handing out tissue or in the movies leading people to their seats. They will glare at you until you tip them. Expect death stares if you don’t have change on you. We understand that tips are important but maybe don’t be so violent about it?
El Nesy Yedfa3 El Parking Ticket
Leaving City Stars is made impossible by these people. They’ll get to the front of the line at the car exit before remembering that they never paid their parking ticket and will then try to back up despite the fact that there’s a line of thirty cars behind them. A single one of these people has the ability to singlehandedly cripple the entire parking structure.
The 3amood Enthusiasts
City Stars has some beautiful spots. The glass pyramid is gorgeous. Even the hallways look good. Yet for some reason, these people choose to take all their photos while leaning on a 3amood. They can oftentimes be found striking the ‘sawarny w ana msh wa5ed baly’. They will often ask you to take pictures of them so run when you see them.
The Ones Who Cut in Line at the Ticket Booth
Everyone’s least favorite human beings. Similar to the tributes but they hang out at the cinema instead.
The Snails
They always appear when you’re in a rush. They’ll cut in front of you, block the way, and then proceed to walk at the slowest pace possible. Please don’t be that person. No one likes that person.
Over Enthusiastic Shop Clerks
A big part of working in retail is being friendly and helpful to customers. These shop clerks take that idea very seriously. Every breath you take. Every step you take. They’ll be there.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 15 Types of People You Find in Every Egyptian Mall.