Children are a blessing, they are a joy like no other, but along with the baby comes the surprise of your life: Your whole organized, under control and calm existence becomes nothing but a mere memory.
Everything changes and you can do nothing but accept it and enjoy the crazy ride. However, there are 14 things you should never underestimate how much you will crave them later.
Sleep for days, wake up, then sleep again
I remember people telling me in my last pregnancy trimester to enjoy my bed as much as possible because the deprivation caused by a newborn will drive anyone insane.
I never listened, underestimating the power of a teething baby. And to be honest, I don’t remember the last time I slept a full night since 2013. So before you start crib shopping, make sure you sleep as a baby yourself.
Enjoy your morning hot coffee
Just to get through a cup of coffee before it’s as cold as a frappucino feels like a marathon sometimes. When you are just about to take that first sip, you get called, you need to change a diaper, the child insists on touching the hot mug or some kind of apocalyptic drama happens.
Drinking hot coffee will be a daily struggle, so enjoy it before it is too stale for your taste buds.
Spend as much ME time as possible
If you think your boss is demanding, try spending a whole day with kids. The only ME time you have throughout the day is during the baby’s naps, nursery or school time, which is usually spent cooking, cleaning and showering.
If you think you will have energy to start your day after they go to bed, you are absolutely mistaken. This is the time to put yourself first, you are allowed to be selfish before having kids.
Enjoy your figure
We hear about and see women who lose the baby weight before they come out of the delivery room – well, others aren’t that lucky. If you turn out to be like most women, your body will not look or feel the same, even after you lose all the gained weight. Therefore, enjoy your summer cropped top and smooth skin.
Enjoy a guilt-free existence
Guilt will consume you after having kids. If they get sick, you blame yourself for turning on the AC. If they throw a tantrum, you blame your lack of parenting skills. If they are bad at judo, you blame yourself for not choosing soccer.
And it goes on like this every day for the rest of your life. Enjoy your guiltless life while it lasts.
Do something dangerous
You can be an adrenaline junkie all you want, but once you hold that baby in your arms for the first time, you think more than twice before you do anything daring.
You can’t help but think how it will affect your child if something happens to you. I have seen it so many times and I never understood the concept until I started being extra careful myself. If you have an urge to jump out of a plane, do it before having kids.
Stop planning everything
Do you know that a parent’s entire day is planned around the child’s nap and lunch time? If you think you will be able to join your friend to go watch a movie an hour after she called, you are wrong.
I won’t even mention planning a trip without kids; it takes months of bribing the grandparents to agree to take them. You will be a walking organizer book. Your last chance of being as random as a teenager in love is before having kids.
Travel to an adults-only destination
You will yearn for adults-only venues after having kids. You might have never been interested in Las Vegs or Ibiza, but there will come a time when you need to hear and see something more exciting than Frozen and Barney.
Anything that is not child friendly will be a safe haven that reminds you of who you used to be.
Establish a career
Kids are incredibly time consuming and it will be exceptionally difficult for a parent, especially a mom, to start a new job with intense challenges with a baby.
As I said, guilt will consume you if you don’t spend enough time with your child. It would be better if you establish a career or even finish your studies before the baby comes along.
Don’t waste your money
Diapers, nurseries, schools, nannies and clothes that don’t fit for more than six months are just some of the money-devouring things you will experience as a parent.
If you have extra cash, don’t waste it on a thousand dollar bag, because you will regret it when you hear how much schools cost.
Turn off the alarm on weekends and wake up whenever the hell you want
This is not the same as sleep as much as you want. This is wake up whenever the hell you want. For the past two years, I have been forcefully woken up by my baby’s shrieks that pierce the walls and travel all the way through Cairo’s streets.
Google lied to me, showed me evidence that her sleeping habits will get better, and I foolishly kept waiting. Never underestimate the beauty of waking up to silence.
Appreciate your clean, organized living room
You need to kill your inner OCD because you are in for a treat. Your standards of cleanliness will change drastically after you relentlessly try organizing the entire house, only to find it a war zone an hour later.
Forget the spotless kitchen counter and walking barefoot without the risk of tripping over a Lego.
Party night and day
Party and party then party some more. By the time you put your kid to bed, you will be more of a zombie than someone about to dance. Waking up early in the morning and partying is an excruciatingly difficult mission; you always regret it the next day. The only problem with excessive partying is you will be wasting a ridiculous amount of money.
Enjoy the silence
Listen to yourself breathing for a change. Just turn off the TV, iPod and computer and throw away your phone. Silence is something that will be ripped out of your life. Feel and become one with quietness, at least in between your partying schedule.
Your new BFFs are your mother and mother-in-law
You are making the mistake of your life if you opt to go under the radar with your mother-in-law. Just ignore everything she says and be her best friend. Also help your own mom with everything she needs.
Be smart, because they will make your life a whole lot easier if you manage to brainwash them into taking care of your kids.
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