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IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ
1. Greece Announces Snap Elections, Because Why Not?
Facing down a leftist mutiny in his party, Greek PM Alexis Tsipras has called snap elections in Greece. The elections, scheduled for September 20, are meant to strengthen his hand as he purges the far left fringe of his party, Syriza, and begins implementing the Greek bailout. Tsipras, who assumed office in January of this year, has presided over an acrimonious and destructive negotiation with Greece’s creditors over the past eight months.
2. Why is this important?
Because if Tsipras loses this election, he won’t be able to pass the measures needed for the Greek bailout. This risks plunging the already crippled economy into further chaos. Syriza’s leftist fringe is headed by Panagiotis Lafazanis, a man who routinely calls St. Petersburg Leningrad and refers to his friends as “comrade.” The Greek economy, which has been crippled by austerity and capital controls, desperately needs some form of stability.
3. North Korea: The Abusive Brother That Won’t Go Away
Shots were exchanged yesterday between the two Koreas (North and South) over their heavily militarized border (where nearly thirty thousand US troops are stationed). The latest incident came as the North had threatened the South to stop broadcasting propaganda messages over the border.
4. Wait, why are the Koreas fighting now?
The two countries are still technically at war but tensions have been high recently after two South Korean soldiers were wounded on August 4 by landmines. The South Koreans are used to North Korean abuse by now after North Korea once sent them a fax (who still sends a fax?) saying that it would ‘strike mercilesslly’…..it would be funny if North Korea didn’t have nuclear weapons and an unstable dictator with a bad haircut…
GOOD BOOK: The Orphan Master’s Son by Adam Johnson
NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ
5. Slovakia To Accept All Refugees! Except If They Are Muslim…
Slovakia has shown its infinite hospitality by opening its borders to 200 refugees. That is 0.2 percent of the total refugees who arrived in the EU last month. But wait, that’s not all — Slovakia will only accept them if they are Christian. Why? Because apparently there are no mosques in Slovakia so Muslims “won’t like it there.” Apparently, Slovakia is the only EU state without a mosque despite being home to about 5,000 Muslims… Discriminatory much?
6. I Promise Someone Stole My Email And Put It On Ashley Madison
Some 32 million people are currently living in a state of marital fear as the list of users to the online adultery site is now Googleable. Many users were shown to be government workers, military personnel and business executives who had used the service to look for extra-marital liaisons. Ashley Madison’s Chief Technology Officer said, “There’s no evidence that the data is real.” Errr… it is. Divorce lawyers, always sensitive to personal tragedy, are delighted.
7. Turkish Ruling Party Struggles To Make Friends
Turkey’s ruling AKP party failed (or didn’t try hard enough) to make a coalition government. AKP has ruled the country for the past 12 years in a semi-authoritarian manner and had lost its parliamentary majority earlier this year. The loss also meant that President Tayyip Erdogan (doesn’t own a golden toilet) can’t turn Turkey into a Presidential system. Expect another round of elections in November… as if the region needed more uncertainty.
8. #pnut4prez: Clinton Tries To Wipe Email Controversy ‘With A Cloth’
No matter how hard she tries Hilary Clinton just can’t seem to get rid of her email controversy. Yesterday a federal judge said that she violated government policy by storing emails on her private server. The email controversy has grown from a minor nuisance to something that could seriously risk her campaign. She even still looks shocked when she’s asked about it. Doesn’t help that she has been losing ground to Bernie Sanders…
LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT
9. Times Square Nudity Unites Politicians
New York’s Times Square has always been a magnet for the weird and wonderful. Whether it’s the self-titled ‘naked cowboy’ (a street performer who only wears cowboy boots, a hat and underwear who once ran for President) or the incredible M&M store. However, Mayor De Blasio has decided that enough is enough and is cracking down on the growing number of topless female performers. Former Governor Andrew Cuomo called their actions “illegal” with current Mayor De Blasio saying it is “wrong”. It seems that only thing that can unify New York politics is nudity…You would think they didn’t have much more important things to worry about.
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