Food Review: New, Secret Lounge in Zamalek
We were “lucky” enough to get invited to a private tasting at some hush-hush new lounge in Zamalek. As usual, I’m alone. My colleague’s dog is “giving birth” at home or something. So I arrive around 8pm and take my seat. Aaand now the power just went off. Great.
The waiter comes up and asks whether I’d like a drink. I mean I don’t usually drink… well, at work-related functions anyway, but what the hell. The power is out, right? And I’m alone. What am I going to do, sit awkwardly in the dark by myself? Might as well have something to sip on.
I finish my first Stella and it’s still dark, but the restaurant seems to have warmed up – perhaps its the candles? Man, something smells good. What is it? I ask but the waiters keep saying there is “broblem” in the kitchen and won’t give me anything but drinks.
So I order a glass of Omar Khayam. One glass never killed nobody, right? When I first got to Egypt I hated this stuff, but now I drink it like water.
I’m starting to like this place a little more – it’s cozy and I’m feelin social. A couple of reviewers take their seat across from me. I ask them what they think of the venue. To be honest, Im not sure whether they said it was “great” or something about being “late.” don’t really care. I like it here.
Why not make things even nicer with Sangria? Me, whatshisface and whatsherface order two pitchers but they were cheesy and lame and ended up sharing one together so I had my own. Yay! More for meee.
I get up to go to the lil girls room but when I come back I find they moved the room around, so I sit down at a new table with a group of Kiwis.
…who welcome me with a round of vodka shots… shots shots shotsshots shots shots how is all shit this free? power’s still out but im having the time of my LIFE
my ex would’ve totally <3’ed this place. i wonder how she’s doing now? maybe I should text her… i miss her. ihate her. no. i have much better things in my life now!
that cheating lying backstabbing whorrr- ooh, another shot?! letz daaaaaaannncce!!!!!!!!
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so i guess i need to rap up this review… love the candles. music? amazinggg! company? LIKE! Freindly service? 😀 !
and u know, i havent even the food yet, but its sure I’m fantastic! overall a must try!
Six out of five shcoops!
xoxoxo,
team
WE SAID THIS: Happy April Fool’s 🙂
