We all like to be comfortable…because comfort is a generator of ease, relaxation and happiness. But did you ever stop to think….how comfortable is ‘’too comfortable?’’. Here’s how the mental elements we never knew existed, can be the reason why we’re going around in circles when it comes to certain aspects of our life.
Observe the term ‘’Comfort Zone’’. At first glimpse it sounds nice, warm and friendly….WRONG! Comfort Zones are one of the primary reasons many of us don’t fulfill our potential or go for what we want.
Our mental conditioning process begins as soon as we’re born. The brains of babies and kids are like sponges, they automatically absorb anything they’re told without differentiating the good from the bad and without realizing that the process is taking place. The thoughts we absorb over our early years accumulate, forming our personalities and ‘’conditioning’’. We become used to this conditioning, and what we are used to by default becomes our ‘’Comfort Zone’’.
Mind you this doesn’t mean that we are intentionally told negative comments as kids, how we perceive those comments is what makes the difference. Sometimes advice from parents/teachers/people whom the child considers opinion leaders are phrased in a way that can make the child feel inadequate, there is no malintent from the other parties side, they are doing the best they could from their own point of view and mean no harm…..the thing is at a young age, the child is not able to make this distinction. ‘’You’re naughty/mischievous/ noisy/lazy’’ can often be translated to ‘’I’m not good enough’’. ‘’Your friends are ahead of you at soccer/math/having ideal weight’’ can often be translated to ‘’I need to make effort to be as good as the people around me’’. Then the child grows up, subconsciously transferring this conditioning into their teenage and adult life. They’re used to it without knowing that they are…even though the thought is harmful and negative…it becomes their comfort zone.
Now here comes the good news, you are actually capable of overcoming your negative conditioning, exiting your comfort zone and utilizing this experience for your own good.
To do that, in my opinion, you need 3 things: awareness, perseverance and faith.
We each have our own approach to things; this is my own personal de-conditioning approach that works very well for me, give it a shot, it might work for you too:
1) Awareness: Take a step back and observe your life. Are there any recurring patterns that make you feel uncomfortable? Do you face the same hardship in every job? Is there a constant draining/de-motivating thought that always pops up as you begin to move towards a desired goal? Is there a steady unhealthy component in your relationships with others (be the category of those relationships ‘’romantic’’, family, social or friendships) that always result in the same negative outcomes?
Awareness is pretty much the key to de-condition your mind. Pay attention to your mind, to the little comments you whisper to your self, especially in times of hardships or tension. When you catch yourself saying things like ‘’I’m not going to be able to do this, I’m going to mess this up/,there’s no way I’ll get what I want, etc…’’. Remind yourself that this thought has no power over you. You have the choice not to charge it.
First congratulate your self for reaching a degree of awareness that allows you to monitor your thoughts. Then substitute all the ‘’I cant’s’’ with ‘’I can’’ and the ‘’It’s impossible, things never work out for me’’ with ‘’ It’s possible, things work out for me’’.
2) Perseverance: Remember, sustainable change takes time. What was built over many years will not suddenly disappear and there WILL be ups and downs. Accept the downs, enjoy the ups and just keep moving forward. Know that your conscious mind will make an effort to keep you in your comfort zone, it doesn’t know any better and it freaks out from change. It clings on to the conditioning it’s been used to over the years, regardless of it being good or bad.
3) Faith: You were born with a mind in your head and not a magic crystal ball. Your job is to utilize your mental abilities, to be accepting to what life is giving you and to be proactive in searching for ways to move forward. It’s not your job to worry and try to predict how things will work out.
Go for it, take the first step and you’ll be surprised how things unfold.
Exiting your comfort zone is one of the biggest favors you can ever do to yourself. It’s your key to achieving all of your goals and it’s worth every ounce of effort.
Conversations with Gods’ author Neale Donald Walsch says it best ‘’ Life begins at the end of your comfort zone’’.
And one of my favorite quotes ever regarding the topic of de-conditioning is American mythologist and writer Joseph Campbell’s ‘’ The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek’’.
It’s true, give it a shot, you have nothing to lose and the manifestation of your hopes and dreams to gain.
