Relationships are tough, amirite? They bring out the worst in you, from your buried daddy issues to your not-so-secret crazy side. Problem is, as much as we like to put the blame on our partners, we often fall into unhealthy habits that end up pushing them away. Avoid this list of turn-offs that are as damaging to your relationship as they are to your own well-being. (Guys, you’re not off the hook, either! This list applies to you as well.)
1. You’re Too Clingy
Being clingy can signify a lot of things: insecurity, jealousy, loneliness, fear, stage five. Not only does it make you look – and, more importantly, feel – bad, it also leaves your loved one feeling trapped, suffocated and smothered.
When he’s going out with friends, you should be doing the same.
“Act like a prize and you’ll turn him into a believer.”
2. You’re Looking for Perfection
Lately, it seems that every single woman out there has been searching for the exact same thing: 27, successful and good looking. All you should be looking for is someone who’s decent and capable of making you happy in the long run.
Remember: When his good looks fade, you’ll be stuck with his bad personality.
“Stop looking for the perfect man and start looking for the man whose imperfections you can put up with.”
3. You’re Playing Too Hard to Get, aka To2l
You called, he didn’t pick up, and now you’re not gonna answer his phone call. Really? There’s a very thin line between playing hard to get and just being stupid.
Don’t overthink it. If you’re free, pick up the phone. If not, call him back later. Simple.
“He’ll forget what he has in you… unless you remind him.”
4. You Have Unrealistic Expectations
Forget about The Notebook, Serendipity and even Just Married. You know what? Forget anything you watch on a screen completely. All these shows and movies do is build up expectations of how your relationship should go, and then reality slaps you in the face.
Don’t compare your story to anyone else’s. It’s yours and your man’s alone.
“Expectation leads to disappointment.”
5. Real Talk: You’re Being Too Slutty
Finding a virgin these days is like finding a unicorn. Lock it up, ladies, before you realize that the guy you gave it up to was only in it to hit it and quit it.
Bottom line: Respect yourself.
“Every man wants to have sex first; whether he wants a girlfriend is something he thinks about later. By not giving him what he wants up front, you become his girlfriend without him realizing it.”
6. You’re Too Jealous
Jealousy is probably the reason for 99% of your fights. This notion that “if we get together you shouldn’t be talking to any other girls” reveals control issues, low self-esteem and lack of trust. Let him be.
If he has a dozen gorgeous girlfriends, it shouldn’t drive you crazy. No, it should make you proud! With all the girls around, he picked you – not her, but you.
“Anytime a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself.”
WE SAID THIS: Check out 10 Things Not to Do on a First Date.