In life we learn from our experiences. Well, some of us do…most of the time. Some like myself have to learn things the hard way, and by hard, I mean the pain that we sometimes inflict on ourselves and others. Causalities in your personal life journey is practically unavoidable, but we’re only human and we’re prone to mistakes.
I dated this guy. I’m not exaggerating, but he’s one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met. He sent me flowers (and shawarma), said all the right things, he was proof that chivalry was in fact not dead. While I was still hesitant about how I felt, I still went for it because it was about time that I gave the ‘good guy’ a chance. I truly gave him a proper chance, but I soon found that not only do I like assholes, but you can’t control your feelings toward another person. Less than a week after our first date I was ready to call it quits, and something kept me from doing so, the way he treated me and spoke to me was the way every girl dreams of being treated.
But feelings still didn’t change, I felt suffocated, and annoyed by him, and a few days later I mustered the courage to end things. Needless to say he didn’t take it well, according to our mutual friends it was like things had never ended, and we were still happily dating. Being the adults we were, we had to see each other during parties and gatherings…which led me to fall back into dating him again. Yes, I was that girl, that asshole. Our reunion was an opportunity to change things in the relationship, set boundaries, make my opinion heard, and try to mold us into a couple I actually wanted us to be.
Quickly after I found myself being formally asked to be his girlfriend, I stupidly said “yes.” Without giving it much thought or deliberation, I jumped into an official relationship. It was wrong of me to do so, not just for me but for him. I knew it was wrong because I just wasn’t happy. I woke up the next morning finding myself in a confused place, a hungover (literally) disarray. I was once told by my grandmother, “you should want to rip off the clothes of your partner just by looking at them. If that’s not there than nothing else is.” To my misfortune that lust wasn’t there. The fondness, the eager desire to speak to him wasn’t there. I told my friends and thought I could weigh it out till something changes. But they slapped me back to reality.
Who is benefiting from being in this relationship? Is it me who is completely dissatisfied and flustered with every sense of us? Or him who believes we’re a happy go lucky couple on the path to a serious future? So, I ended things 12 hours after I was asked to be his girlfriend. I did for me, but I also did it for him because everyone deserves a shot at happiness. Sure it wasn’t pretty. He blamed it on variety of things that were irrelevant but in the end it had to be done. Sure, hanging out with our mutual friends is going to be awkward. It’s going to sting him till he learns to see the bigger picture, but life will go on. We will continue to date other people, love other people, and get hurt by other people. That’s just life, its how we live and learn.
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