Lately, Ramadan in Egypt has come down to three frenzies: religion, TV shows and desserts. The holy month is just around the corner and social media is already packed with mouthwatering sweets to anticipate next week. The past of couple of years, we came face to face with some crazy desserts with twists that made no sense, yet tasted impeccable.
However, it seems that this year everyone on social media has been obsessing over sugar long before Ramadan. Here are a few exquisite sugar-coma-inducing food that I have come across and demand to find in Egypt this year. These babies will destroy our metabolism and any hopes for a summer body.
Deep-fried coffee
FYI: Drinking coffee is so 2014. A classic situation every Ramadan day after iftar is not having enough space in your system for that cup of coffee you have been craving all day.
You already had soup and a full meal, by the time you regain feeling in your arms and start making coffee, it is already bedtime and you don’t want to stay up late. To end the dilemma, the world introduced us to deep fried coffee with whipped cream or ice cream to eat as a dessert.
Brownies/ice cream/konafa osmanliya mountain
Ramadan is all about Oriental desserts with twists. We have seen red velvet, Nutella, Maltesers, Twix and Kit Kat embedding themselves into our cultural sweets. What we need this year is brownies with ice cream topped with osmanliya konafa and maybe some zalabia as garnish. Is it fatal? Most probably. Do we care? No.
Mestekka ice cream in a pistachio konafa cone
Imagine what it would be like to quench your thirst, cool your body, have your fill of glucose and manipulate your body energy all at the same instant.
I have no idea why, but people seem to be fascinated by the mestekka flavor, so in a selfless attempt, I decided to bring you this incredible invention. A pistachio konafa cone embracing and life-supporting a mestekka ice cream scoop for as long as you can hold yourself. Zero practicality, yet infinite bliss.
Cronefeh
The minute Arabs heard of this, it made headlines and went viral. This is the stuff dreams are made of. I will try to describe it in a dull way so you don’t have a heart attack: This is a chocolate croissant stuffed with cheesy konafa and, rumor is it, can only be purchased in heaven.
I have no idea why it is not in the Egyptian market yet. It is obvious from everyone’s reaction that it will sell for eternity.
A gigantic zalabia drowning in caramel, banana and whipped cream
When it comes to desserts, less is definitely not more. With caramel, bigger is so much damn better and sweeter. I need someone to pile up all the raw zalabia dough in Cairo, carve a gigantic donut or a pillow where I can stuff my face infinitely, then cover it with caramel, bananas and whipped cream.
You can say bye-bye to your metabolism and pancreas for good. Happiness has a price.
Nutella and marshmallow sambosa
Cheese and meat sambosa have been fulfilling for years, but it is time to step up your game. I am so over wasting my time and calories on fried cheese; I need to consume glucose during iftar, sohoor and five times in-between. Judge me all you want, summer bimbos, I don’t care.
Ice-cream filled red velvet cupcake
Was the physics I’ve been taught in school a lie? This is not your regular cupcake; this is a divine creation that defies the laws of nature and physical science.
I am sure Google has a pretty simple explanation for how the hell cold ice cream can exist inside a baked cake, but I will choose to consider it this year’s Ramadan’s miraculous heaven-sent gift.
WE SAID THIS: Ramadan Kareem from the Empire!