For unknown reasons, we seem to be forever single. No matter how hard we work on our relationships, one day we are holding hands, the next he vanishes off the face of earth. The Egyptian man is a breed like no other. He’s funny as hell, but borderline offensively sarcastic. He’s territorial when it comes to his lady, but craves his space. He asks you to have a life and a career, but blames you for not having enough time for him.
After years of blaming men, we decided to give them a break and admit that we are no little miss sunshines ourselves. Here are all the ways your subconscious is sabotaging your love life and pissing off your Egyptian man:
1. “My mom asked about you last night.” You both know she didn’t and you are subtly asking for him to propose soon
2. You know he is a doctor who has three years of serving in the army, then three more years of studying for his Master’s degree, yet you insist on asking about a wedding date
3. Drama only sounds entertaining on TV. The minute your mascara starts melting all over your face, he’s gone for good
4. Complain when he drops you home on your curfew then goes to meet his friends. We all know you want him miserable in bed, just like you
5. Ya zanana stop asking him about his ex-girlfriend, it’s been four years already
6. Whatever you do, don’t play the “Gali 3aris” card. We’re sorry to tell you, but mahroosha awi!
7. If you want to go all Sherlock Holmes on your man if you suspect anything, make sure you never get caught and follow the correct stalking protocol. Otherwise, he will have the last laugh
8. We love our wigs, hair extensions and acrylic nails, just don’t remove them in front of him. He knows there’s something artificial going on, just don’t throw it in his face
9. Bring the “I’m the general manager” attitude from work into your love life
10. Stop talking about villas with pools and haute couture gowns, it will scare the hell out of him and he’ll get defensive and say, “Allah yer7am ayam el3abboudy”. Fact of life: High maintenance women can be exhausting
11. Thinking that feminism is all about being stubborn and opinionated about every small detail
12. It is not his responsibility to make you happy. You should make you happy. Men like to feel needed, but hate it when they become your center. As previously stated, they are a breed of their own
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 19 Signs You Are Dating an Egyptian.