11 Thoughts Every Egyptian Parent Has Before School Assessments

So November is around the corner and to some it might be just the start of a gloomy weather, but for an Egyptian parent, it is the time for meltdowns, hysteria, valiums and nightmares.

 

We’ve got two words for you: School interviews. Rumor has it that they are scarier than Voldemort, more painful than a Hannibal Lecter’s bite and darker than Mordor. Your 3-years-old toddler will be inspected, judged and questioned. The FBI is coming for the kids and there is nothing parents can do about it. Here are 11 thoughts every Egyptian parent is having this month right before school assessments.

 

 

OMG! It’s November and my kid is so tiny, so unready, so incredibly untamed. How will she go in alone?

 

 

 

What if he throws a tantrum for no obvious reason?

 

 

 

What if the teacher shows him a square and he says it’s a circle just to spite me

 

 

 

Yalahwi, yalahwi, he still can’t count to 10

 

 

 

Oh hell no! You will not give scissors to my son. I’ll pretend it’s for safety concerns, but we all know he can’t use it

 

 

 

Dear Lord, I am on my knees, begging you please that when she’s asked about her name, she replies

 

 

 

WHATTTT!!! I need a wasta (connection)? I don’t know anyone. Damn you rich people

 

 

 

Yarab she gets accepted at the cheaper school

 

 

 

A single assessment will almost cost me EGP 1000. My life savings will be gone before she even gets accepted

 

 

 

I think it’s time I ask on the mommy Facebook groups about the exact questions each school asks

 

 

 

7ad yegebly valium or just wake me up in April

 

 

 

WE SAID THIS: YA RAB!!