I Am a Woman and I Want to Propose to Him
by Nadia Aly
Women have come a long way since the dark ages, but for some weird reason, even in this day and age, it is still frowned upon for a woman to ask a man to marry her.
Whilst interacting with my proximate and distant circle of female acquaintances, I learned that a lot of them identified as “ladies in waiting.”, in waiting for marriage that is. Well, girls: STOP WAITING!
How many times have you liked a guy but couldn’t ask him out because it was socially frowned upon? What would he think of me? What if he doesn’t like me back? What if he tells his friends? Is he going to think I’m easy or needy? What if he takes me for granted? All those questions that pop into a girl’s head before admitting her feelings to the guy she wants to be with eventually force her to stay silent.
Last time I checked, no law that criminalizes females asking out and/or proposing to males has ever been issued. If the end result is that two people get together, then what difference does it make if I ask him out?
In Egypt and the Middle East you often come across the re-occurring scene of the mother that is searching for a proper wife for her son: you see the man’s family jumping from house to house to check whether or not the woman in question is suitable for their beloved son.
On the other hand, you will never see a woman’s family acting in a similar manner, when it comes to finding their daughter a husband. We, as women, have been socialized and raised to believe that it is normal, when it comes to proving ourselves worthy of the ring, the home, and, most importantly, the title “Mrs. X” or “Madame X”.
Women grow up believing that they won’t get married if they can’t cook, clean, and take care of babies.
What our parents never taught us, however, is the fact that we can and should pursue any person, whom we think can act as a an ideal life partner. If you casually walk up to your parents and ask them to accompany you to propose to a guy, they will probably admit you to a mental institution.
I simply don’t get the logic behind it. As a woman, I possess the exact same mental capacity, as any male counterpart, when it comes to deciding who I want to be with. So remind me again why the choice of getting together has to be his?