By Aya Ragheb
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” My family has always asked me that question but I never answered it because my father always says, “she will study law.” Or my mother answers, “she will be a doctor.”
I guess they didn’t notice that I and I alone have the absolute right to answer that question. The problem in our society that we always fear what is different. I did not know what I really wanted until I studied philosophy in my last year in school. I will never forget the first time I ever saw our philosophy teacher, he made us a pop quiz on his very first day and it was graded, so you can imagine how it felt to have a quiz in a subject you never had.
Expand your imagination a bit more and guess who got the best grade? Yup, me. I was thrilled because I never really liked any other subject. At that day, philosophy became my passion. I believe our purpose in this life lies in doing and working in a field we are passionate about. Our passion is our fuel and we need it to survive. Consequently, when I finished school I wanted to major in philosophy. And for a second, I let myself dream and I imagined doing what I love for the rest of my life but reality’s slap was stronger than my dream could ever be.
My father did not only refuse but all the people I know and all my family mocked me. I received comments like “what will you do?” or “are you going to only be a teacher?” or “studying philosophy is ridiculous, who studies philosophy anyway?” and I wanted to scream and tell them that many of the writers we love and respect studied philosophy such as Naguib Mahfouz, an Egyptian writer who won the Nobel Prize for Literature. Mahfouz studied philosophy in Cairo University and graduated in 1934. Along with Tawfik El-Hakim, Mahfouz explored the theory of existentialism. Another example is Anis Mansour who studied and graduated from Cairo University with a B.A in philosophy to continue his journalistic career afterwards. These are not the only examples.
All I wanted to really do is to try. I wanted philosophy so bad that I was begging my family to let me fail in it. At least then, I would know for sure I am not good enough. Let me fail. Let me fail. Let me fail and I will do anything for that. My story is not only about philosophy. It is about all the underrated majors undermined by people and by the society. Underrated majors like psychology, history, and others. My story is not the only one. I have tons; tons of people who studied what they do not like or who work in a field thy hate.
We can blame the society and we can blame our parents but I think we should only blame ourselves. I will not tell you to rebel nor will I tell you that it is your own life because you should know that already but I will tell you to try. Try so hard and never stop trying even if it seems impossible. Eventually, you will not disappoint anyone but your own self. You are good enough. There are barriers and mindsets that will tell you it is impossible and maybe for them it is, but you have to listen only to yourself. Desire it so much that nothing will stop you from trying again and again.