The relationship pants: the age-old excuse to give someone dominance in a relationship. Who earns more money? Who is out of who’s league? Who is more decisive? The answer to these questions is usually the partner who seems to have the overall upper hand in a relationship. The real question here is: Why do these pants even exist in the first place?
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you definitely know what I’m talking about. Who has the most control? Who sets a curfew for the other or dictates their choice of attire? Who gets to always give their approval regarding the other’s plans and who, if both individuals are living together, sets the shared household’s budget?
But does someone really need to wear the pants? Will a relationship fail without someone leading? The way I see it, the pants can do a lot more damage to a relationship than good. No, I’m no Dr. Phil, but when someone is always playing the part of puppeteer, all that does is wreak havoc on the relationship, for the puppet will probably eventually get sick of being manipulated and will end up cutting off its strings one day.
A mature, healthy relationship between two adults should, in every way, allow both of them to be adults. No, I personally don’t want someone to dictate my decisions, nor do I want to dictate theirs. Mutual respect, understanding and support are, without a doubt, the ingredients for a fulfilling relationship, not the constant back-and-forth nagging and bossing around. I highly doubt, and well hope, that no adult wants someone to dumb them down or babysit them; that’s not why relationships exist in the first place.
The whole “my way or the highway” approach never works in corporate partnership; can it honestly work in a personal relationship, which in the end, is an emotional partnership?
I do understand that, at the end of the day, in our society, if a man does not wear the pants in a heterosexual relationship, he is tragically emasculated and seen as less of a “man” [insert ‘Si El Sayed’ reference]. At the same time, with the rise of feminism, some women feel the need to assert their dominance in an effort to prove and practice equality of the sexes. Both these attitudes, however, tip the scale in favour of one of the partners, and doesn’t that just cause an evident imbalance?
Finally, the way I see it, the best way to go is to go commando, no pants involved – metaphorically of course, keep your real pants on in public places at all times, please. Discuss ideas, share responsibility, split the burdens and just let each other be in matters which are not deal breakers in a relationship. No one needs to exclusively call the shots, and no one needs to constantly feel demeaned; it’s a win-win solution.
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