Mother Being: The Platform Altering Arab Society’s Mindset About Womanhood

“From periods to motherhood and everything in between” basically sums up Nour Emam’s Instagram account that every lady, and man, should be following. And the reason we made sure to mention men is because there’s so much that they need to learn about women and their bodies; this information isn’t only for the ladies.

Nour Emam is a Doula, Educator, and Women’s Health Advocate. Her platform Mother Being was born after she had a tough birth and postpartum experience, and realized that a lack of knowledge and information was one of the main contributors to what she was going through.

“I actually started the page after I had surpassed or was getting better with my postpartum depression. I started my training as a Doula while I was in the midst of my postpartum depression. It was definitely challenging trying to manage my clients, births, family life, my Instagram content, and being a full-time mom,” said Emam.

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In this mini-ed I tackle the super misunderstood hymen. I'm busting all the myths we grew up believing. It's time to change the conversation and liberate women. 1) The hymen is a thin membrane at the opening of the vagina. It varies in shape just like any part of the human body. Some are born with hymens some are born without. 2) The hymen is mostly observed in infants and young children. 3) After /during puberty, estrogen causes the hymen to become more elastic. Sports, tampons, masturbation or simply growing may stretch the hymen. 4) More than 50% of women will not bleed during their first time having penetrative sex. That's because their hymens are stretchy. Those who do bleed have a less elastic hymen. 5) The most convincing theory of why hymens exist, is that it protects babies and young children from harmful bacteria and feces from entering the vagina. 6)WHO and all medical bodies internationally condemn the use of "virginity testing" as it is an inaccurate way of determining virginity. Hymens and "tight vaginas" are not indications of virginity, because hymens vary in shape, form and elasticity and tight vaginas are only this way due to contracted pelvic floor muscles. 7) Nothing other than consensual penetrative sex can "take your virginity" away. Spread the word. Teach your parents. Teach your children.

A post shared by MOTHER BEING (@thisismotherbeing) on Jul 17, 2020 at 12:06pm PDT

“This platform offers free, accessible, easy to understand information that is integral for every woman regardless of age and background. I think, this platform started out as a maternity services page, that offers fertility, pregnancy, birth and postpartum related information. But with time, women following this page have opened my eyes to all the different things they need to know. So, this page has shifted into a space that encompasses maternity care as well as women’s rights and health advocation and awareness,” added Emam.

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This is a follow-up video to the "Hymen" video that is very much needed. I've been getting a lot of questions on whether tampons and masturbation cause you to "lose" your virginity, which means that some people still don't get it.⁣ ⁣ 1) Virginity is not this dramatic thing that "breaks" and someone "takes away from you". Virginity is to a large extent, subjective.⁣ 2) Physically speaking being a virgin means that you haven't had penetrative sex with a person. The common consensus is that losing your virginity is based on 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 first time penetrative sex.⁣ 3)I get asked about rape. Is a woman still a virgin? Rape is a crime. Someone has forcefully taken away someone's bodily right. No one has the right to claim whether or not this woman is a virgin but her.⁣ 4) Masturbation does not cause you to lose your virginity. You can't really lose your virginity to yourself.⁣ 5)Virginity is subjective. It is what every woman decides for herself. She sets the limit or defines it for herself, be it penetrative sex, oral, even kissing.⁣ 6)The hymen is a thin membrane with few blood vessels. It is not likely to bleed.⁣ -> Women who bleed during sex often have forceful penetrative sex with insufficient lubrication, which causes lacerations to vaginal tissue.⁣ -> This tells us that men are uneducated in women's bodies and pleasure.⁣ -> Sex should be pleasurable for both parties.⁣ -> This tells us that many women must endure painful intercourse.⁣ ⁣ We need education. We need to be okay with asking questions, researching about something integral to humanity such as sex.⁣ If we don't, women will remain miserable and in the dark. We need education on healthy sexual relationships.We need to understand how FGM affects so many women's chances of ever having fulfilling sexual lives.⁣ ⁣ We are the change.⁣ 💪🏼 We are the hope for future generations.

A post shared by MOTHER BEING (@thisismotherbeing) on Jul 25, 2020 at 12:04pm PDT

In the Middle East, it’s quite rare to come across a platform that shares information about the female body, fertility, pregnancy, “baby blues”, and so much more. Most of us grow up in households that teach us that speaking about anything related to periods is shameful and taboo, and discussing what goes on in a female’s body during pregnancy, and otherwise, is inappropriate, sometimes even in female-only circles. And although postpartum depression is a medical condition, these feelings can sometimes be looked down upon in our society and seen as “not thanking God for your baby” or “not being happy about giving birth”.

All these factors make her platform not only unique, but even inspiring, and shows that these societal restrictions on what to say and what not to say are slowly being removed. It’s about time.

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Why is it so important to have a positive birth? Why is it the most important thing to prepare for in your life (seriously)?⁣ ⁣ Our culture, sadly, places zero importance on how a mother experiences her birth. You are "not the first and last woman to give birth" and "the most important thing is the baby is healthy".⁣ The mother is forgotten. Told to quickly 'get over it' and to power through. To treat birth as if it was just something that happened, not an actual miracle where two souls who shared a body, are now two souls in two different bodies.⁣ ⁣ You birthed a human!⁣ ⁣ Birth is not just about bringing a baby into the world. Birth, is the ultimate transformation. Your body, heart and soul are working hard to bring your baby earthside. ⁣ How we pass through this transformation matters. How we prepare for this transformation matters. You matter.⁣ ⁣ This is your entry into motherhood. Make it a good one (even if it doesn't go according to plan).⁣ ⁣ Honor your body, honor your birth.⁣ ⁣ Image via @monetnicolebirths ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ليه تحضير الولادة مهم؟ أهم من تحضير الفرح أصلاً. ليه مهم إن الام ولادتها تكون تجربة إيجابية وذكرياتها للولادة لازم تكون حلوة؟⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ثقافتنا ومجتمعنا مع الأسف مش حاطت تجربة الام في الاعتبار ومش مديين مشاعر الام أهمية.⁣ إنت "مش أول ولا أخر وحدة تولدي" و-"الحمد لله إن البيبي كويس". الأم بتتنسي، وإللي حولها مركز مع البيبي.⁣ الأم مطلوب منها انها تقوم وترجع للحياه عادي كأن مفيش حاجة حصلت. مش بنعامل الست انها لسه مخرجة روح من روحها.⁣ ⁣ إنت لسه مخلفة انسان!⁣ ⁣ الولادة مش حاجة عادية وخلاص. الولادة دي أكبر نقطة تحول في حياة الست.⁣ لو نقطة تحولك كانت سلبية عشان التجربة كانت سلبية، ده بيفضل معاكي طول عمرك.⁣ تحضيرك للولادة، انك تدي نفسك إهتمام في فترة الحمل والولادة ،ده أساسي.⁣ ⁣ إنت مهمة.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

A post shared by MOTHER BEING (@thisismotherbeing) on Jul 15, 2020 at 2:13pm PDT

WE SAID THIS: Check out her platform!