Mommy Diaries: The Battle of the Sexes, Simplified

L

I would like to clarify something before I begin. This is a simple diary entry. I will simplify very complex matters. You might find yourself getting offended. If that happens, please feel free to take a moment to come to the realization that you have serious deep-rooted issues that need solving. Once you have realized that, I urge you to turn on the news or Google Syrian refugees or the humanitarian crisis in Yemen to discover something that truly deserves your anger.

Thank you.

Men and women. A tale as old as time. Men don’t know what women want. Women don’t know how to express themselves to men. It isn’t new. Countless books have been written on the matter, and yet still, barely any of us have any idea what the eff is going on with those of the other sex.

Are men stupid?

Are women evil?

Perhaps. But let’s break it down and make it easier for all of us to understand. My take on the battle of the sexes is that it all boils down to how pigheaded you are. Yes, you read that right. I keep pushing this theory down your throat but I promise you it couldn’t be truer. You are responsible for your own happiness. So stop blaming your partner.

Now before you get yourself all worked up, bear with me. First of all, I am not talking about extreme situations that involve infidelity or abuse. If homeboy is cheating, you need to kick him to the curb. I am talking about our plain Jane relationships between a man and a woman that kinda sort of still love each other.

Everyone just wants to be loved right? Well, kind of. You’re on the right track, but let’s adjust that statement to make it true all over. Everyone wants to be loved the way they need to be loved. Not the way you think they should be loved. Not the way you want to be loved.

Our generation has been instilled with this sense of false entitlement. We don’t have the patience to work for our relationships. We’re so quick to confuse neglecting our families with being neglected. It’s a two-way street that won’t work if everyone is flashing their high beams, honking their horns, disregarding each other.

If you think flowers are silly, but you know your partner wants flowers, buy the godamn flowers. Do not try to teach them a lesson. That makes you a jerk. Nobody likes a jerk.

If you think your partner’s hobbies are silly, shut your mouth. Your mom must’ve taught you to be more respectful than that. Do not belittle something that brings happiness to people you love. That makes you an asshole. Nobody likes an asshole.

If your partner likes to be left alone when angry, leave your partner alone when they are angry. Do not suffocate them with your clingy self. It does not end well. You come off as annoying, needy and infuriating. Nobody likes that. Back off. I promise you, if you do, the result will almost always be better.

You think you deserve more? Ask for it. You dyed your hair and he didn’t notice? It’s probably because he doesn’t care. He loves you. Unless you shave it off or dye it pink, it probably doesn’t matter what your hair looks like. You’re lucky. Not neglected. Don’t be a witch.

Tell her she’s beautiful. Do not demean him in front of his friends. Do not belittle her attempts at parenting. Do not share his shortcomings with the world.

Be each other’s support. Be each other’s happy place. Think about it this way: Do you want your partner to dread coming home to you? Would you rather they dreamt of the moment they could be in your arms again? Be kind. It’s the only way to make it work.

You’re welcome.

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Mommy Diaries: Nobody Is Happy Unless They Choose to Be.