8 Reasons Not to Have Children


Here in Egypt, we’re practically on the verge of making it a law for people get married before they’re 25.

On one hand, it’s great and grandmothers are ecstatic that they get to see their children’s offspring. Mothers no longer have to set their kids up because their kids are in a rush to marry already and I get to attend a lot of weddings and engagement parties, which means lots of dresses and heels.

On the other hand, this means I get asked by everyone I see at such pleasant occasions on when I plan to settle down and hear the famous “3o2balek”, or “you’re next”. I respond with “3o2balak/3o2balek” to all my senior relatives now and it kind of makes it awkward and I leave and it makes me very happy.

As wonderful as it is to finally find someone who you’d consider combining your DNA with, as I think I still am a child myself, here’s why I’m not popping out babies yet!


1. I’m 22


I understand why people got married early hundreds of years ago. They needed to reproduce. A lot. Because you could die in war or from an epidemic. Or God forbid you came from an aristocratic family where arranged marriages were the only way to get hitched.

All of that given, I thank God I get to experience adulthood in the new millennium where I can be as picky as I want with the person who is going to father my children. And I have plenty of time to do that.


2. I want to be a better parent than my parents


While I still think my parents are great people and I can never thank them enough for all they have done for me, I do want to be a better parent than they are.

I want to find the correct balance between career and family, I want to build something for myself and enjoy being selfish with my twenties, I want to give my kids a secure future, enough of my time and attention. And I want to nurture them into being better than I am. And I am not so great yet.


3. I want to be a better mother than Britney Spears


I don’t have a lot to say here.


4. I don’t want to just have a child and take it one day at a time

There is no such thing. Being a good parent is a full-time job. Thank God for modern day technology, nannies, supportive husbands and feminists, it has made the job easier, but I still cannot imagine having a child who is not planned.

Of course there will be surprises and I plan on enjoying and making the most of them, but I haven’t matured enough as a person to be responsible for planning another life, one I am responsible for.


5. I can barely take care of my cat


I get frantic when there is something wrong with my cat’s meows, or when he sleeps too much, or when he’s hyperactive. I forget to buy him wet food and I dread cleaning the litter box. I have to set a reminder for his vaccines a year early and his periodical vet check-ups are a pain in the ass because I can’t get him in the carrier.

A cat is doing more harm to my mental health that he should be, imagine a child!

I look at all the adorable young parents who have very cute babies with tiny shoes and I wonder how many times do the shoes fall off per day and why do they put it back every time?

When my cat doesn’t want dry food and demands wet foot, I sit on the floor next to him and usually start crying because I can’t get him to eat. I cannot live such pressure with a tiny human being.

And babies poop a lot more than cats do.


6. Because becoming a parent is about being ready and not societal pressure


I know a lot of people who just get pregnant right after they get married because it’s “the natural thing to do”. NO, it’s not. You just started your life together, you don’t know how living under the same roof is going to turn out and you certainly haven’t figured out your finances yet.

Plus, why would you choose to live with your heart outside of your body less than a year after marriage? Isn’t that what parenthood is all about? Loving a tiny human more than you love yourself? Your children are the only people you will genuinely wish to see do better than yourself in life. Give yourself time to be a great role model.


7. I already have a child and his name is King Mario


He’s a two-and-a-half-year-old blue Persian and he’s very royal, scratches, bites, demands attention and hates everyone. I failed at raising a cat.


8. You shouldn’t need a reason for not wanting kids at any given point of time


It’s your own lifelong commitment. No one is going to bear the consequences with you. Have kids when you’re ready and not when society tells you it’s the “right” time.


WE SAID THIS: Check out 20 Tips to Survive Your 20s.