A Guide to Killing Time When You’re Unemployed

The scariest thing about unemployment is all that free time! You suddenly have 24 hours of free time instead of just like 5 and you’re left not knowing how to fill it up or what to do!

Being just recently unemployed myself, here are a few things I’ve discovered one should do to kill up all that free time.

 

Plan trips and vacations

 

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Ok, no more anyone controlling my vacation days. The world is my oyster. Paris is always a good idea. London? Sudan? Gouna? Lets do thiissss. Where am I gonna go? Check flights. Not too bad. 5000 pounds for 10 days, great package! *New tab* Ohhh North West is just all swag. Blake Lively, you’re so hot. I wish you were preggers with my child. What travels? Ana msh adra.

 

 

Shopping

 

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Citystars, I’m coming for you. No, forget Citystars, CFC is where it’s at, bigger stores less people. SALE! Winter collection is out already? It’s still a million degrees out. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. This is pretty. Okay, I need to stop. There goes all my savings. Whatever. Totally worth it. I’m done. Topshopppp! Come to mama…But on a serious note, if you’re job hunting isn’t going as smoothly as planned, spending a lot of money can add a new dimension of stress and pressure for you. Try contacting this temp agency denver to see how they can help you make ends meet.

 

 

Harass your working friends

 

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Ummm just because you’re working doesn’t mean you can ignore me. Hello, remember when we were friends. Can you just take today off? Stop being such a workaholic. Enjoy your life, work isn’t going anywhere. You wanna go for breakfast? When’s your lunch hour? I’m boooreddd. Why are you so boring? Talk to me!

 

 

Get in touch with old friends

 

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So I’m finally unemployed and have time to see your new child. Omg, you broke up with him? …Six months ago. Sorry I missed your birthday, graduation, engagement party, store opening. We need to see each other more often! You lost so much weight! So pretty! Oh no way, I had no ideaaa. Lets do drinks. Wanna plan a trip? I found this great package!

 

 

Pamper yourself

 

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Hello, JW Marriot? Can you pleas transfer me to the spa? Yes, today is good. Hello, can I please book a hair appointment? Nails? How much is a full body wax? Hmm what else can I do? So much time. Oh gym! NEED to get on that. Laa msh adra. Lets stick to the massages. Hey, you wanna skip work and come with me to get a massage? Ugh I hate your job.

 

 

Stalk your ex

 

stalker

I can’t believe he’s still with that girl. Instagram. What is he wearinggg? Thank God that’s over. Ugh, I miss him. Whatever, his loss. Facebook. Did he really just share that link? Does he think he’s funny? Oh she likes it? Twitter. What does that mean? Is that a subtweet? I need to go back to work. Aww, he tweeted a lyric from our song. Cute. Maybe he wants to catch up?

 

 

Become a life philosopher

 

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Who needs a job anyways? It’s not like there’s ever a legit reason to waste your life. Youth can’t be measured by a salary. No, they cannot. I repeat, they cannot. What if you wake up one day and lose it all. That’s all your life wasted. Not going do that. There’s a fly on my window. I wonder how it got there. Do you know how long a fly’s life span is? Hmm maybe I should Google it. No, I’m not that bored. Or am I? Who am I?

 

 

Catch up on “things”

 

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Breaking Bad. OITNB. Game of Thrones. Books. Magazines. My blog. There’s just so much to do. Need to get back to my art. Where’s my camera? I’m just not inspired, though. How does one get inspired? This country is killing my soul. Why wont this episode download faster! I’m so bored. Did Drake just release some new music? I don’t even really like painting anymore. How cool is North West though? Maybe I should draw her.

 

 

Make every basic errand an actual plan

 

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Can’t. I’m picking up my friend from the airport today. I’ll leave a little earlier to get coffee. Yeah, better get on that pumpkin spice latte before they stop making it. Wait, what time is she landing? Okay, 4.30. Maybe I should wear those new jeans. Need to make a new playlist. It’s 2, better start getting ready. Where are my car keys? Hey, no I cant talk I’m going to the airport today.

 

 

Sleep

 

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Is there anyway to actually delete the alarm clock from my phone? Won’t be needing that anymore. No, really. I’ve got SO much time to sleep, it’s amazing! Sorry I missed your call, I was asleep. Sorry I missed your outing, I was asleep. Sorry I’ve been MIA for the past two weeks, I was asleep. Is there actually anything better than those three extra morning hours of sleep? I’m so tired of sleeping. I need to get out of bed. Everything’s so soft. I’m never getting a job. My brain cells are dying. Blame it on this bed. I need to get a job.

 

 

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Up Close and Personal : Unemployed, Educated and Female.

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