People don’t stumble across good friends every day. But what is a good friend, anyway? People could differ on the definition. Some would say a good friend just needs to be loyal; some would say a good friend is someone who you laugh with. There are so many relative and unique definitions. But while there are so many definitions there are just as many misconceptions as to what makes up a good friend. Here are just 5 of them, debunked!
They have to share every detail of their lives
Growing up, keeping a secret from your friend was a sin. However, as we grow up, we become more aware of our own identities and boundaries. You don’t need to tell your friend about every part of your life, everything you do, or every secret. Keeping things for yourself, your family, your partner or even your other friends is okay. It can even be healthy. That does not make a bad friend, it simply means there are boundaries set and they’re respected.
Buying gifts is a must
Not everyone’s love language is gift exchanging. Some people might like acts of service or affirmations. Sometimes people might not be able to buy gifts, and it’s okay. Good friends are not measured by how many things they bought each other. What makes a good friend, though, is understanding what your friend would appreciate and doing just that for them.
Friends have to like each other all the time
Fully agreeing with someone all the time is just not achievable. There’s no one that you can admire and like all the time; everyone is so different. You can even love someone, even if you don’t particularly like them at that moment. There will be times when your friend does something that you disapprove of, and you don’t need to pretend to like it or agree with them. That would actually make a bad friend and a hypocrite as well! Being good friends, you sort of have to admit when you don’t like them and do it to their face.
They need to have everything in common
In kindergarten, you sort of had to have everything in common; back when “everything” meant liking the same cartoons and toys. Now, people are much more than that. Good friends don’t need to share the same interests, lifestyle, values or even beliefs. What matters at the end of the day is to accept each other’s differences and be respectful.
Friends should be always free for each other
It’s true, friends should be a priority, especially good ones. However, as adults, we grow to understand that there are so many aspects of life that need to be taken care of: family, children, career, mental health and whatever else you please. So, expecting your good friend to always be free for your company, always on the phone with you or texting you every day is rather unrealistic. Everyone has got so many things to juggle, so give each other a break.
At the end of the day, when you find your true good friend, you would know.