Mommy Diaries: Who Are These Kids?

I was driving one afternoon, singing along with Nicki Minaj on the radio when all of a sudden I heard a tiny voice call my name. Well not my name, but mommy.
I turned around and found two little humans in my back seat.

Where did they come from? When did this happen? Who are these people?
They can’t be mine. I’m too young and hip to have had offspring. Right?

They are mine. I have two humans. They belong to me. I am responsible for them. The way I raise them will determine everything. Their popularity, intelligence, values… all me and Superdad.

At first it was all about their survival. Feedings, diaper changing, sleep, etc. That was exhausting. But this… this is a whole other ballgame.

I have to think about everything before I do it in front of L Boogie. I have to answer questions about things I don’t want to talk about. Why doesn’t that man have a car? Why don’t we give him your car? What do you mean he doesn’t have money? Give him yours.   Why do I have to take a bath/be clean/ cut my nails/ brush my teeth/ go to sleep/ not push Z? What are you doing? I want lipstick. Where’s my nail polish? I don’t want to wear jeans I want to wear my princess dress. *

It’s getting intense. I have to read about different teaching methods and techniques. I have to find a way to psychologically get to them. And apparently beating them isn’t an option. ** It worked fine for me but I guess that’s not thething to do right now.

Then there’s the activity part. Soccer practice? Twice a week? Not enough? Too boyish? Ok then ballet three times a week? No, that’s too much.

So what is it?

Who has the answers?

I’ve been panicking about this for quite some time now until I asked for help from the only mama I know that has an iron fist but a heart as big as can be. My mama.  She simplified in a way that silenced all my demons.

Do whatever you think is right. If the kids seem tired from running back and forth from practice and school, cut it out. If they seem bored at home then take it up a notch. Answer her questions the way you’d want someone to answer yours. Be honest and clear.

So here we go…

*These questions/statements are usually followed by slamming doors, body thumping, and/or screaming.

** When you strike a child they automatically forget everything that happened and only focus on the action. It’s useless. You’re only instilling fear and distrust in them.