9 Things We’ve Learned From Our Exes
Having your heart broken or going through a breakup just sucks! However, no matter how much your ex has hurt you, you really do learn from your mistakes (at some point). I believe that a person is a combination of their experiences, the most of which we get from the mistakes we’ve made.
Looking back, yes, I’ve made quite a lot of dumb decisions, but thankfully I have no regrets. I wouldn’t be the person I am today, if it hadn’t been for what I’ve learned…. Here are some of the things my messed up relationships have taught me:
Nobody can love you, if you don’t love yourself first
One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt is that loving yourself is the first step to a successful relationship. We tend to expect that being loved will get us out of our darkness and make us feel better about ourselves. However, that theory has disaster written all over it. A person will try to lift you up, make you see the positives in yourself and in life, but at some point their patience will dry up.
No one wants to be with an unhappy person who only brings misery and sees the negativity in everything. Learn to love yourself and find the happiness deep within you, or your relationship and your entire life are doomed.
Give as much as you get
To maintain a happy relationship, you both need to have a certain amount of balance when it comes to how involved and how much effort you are willing to put into the relationship. So don’t go around giving everything you possibly can to someone who doesn’t appreciate it. Your heart can be broken, so be very careful before you go all in!
Have a separate life
It is crucial for each of you to have a separate life for many reasons. As much as you love each other, it is not healthy to have your lives revolve around each other. Having a separate life gives you room to have some personal time off as well as an opportunity to spend some time apart and start missing each other.
It is also important just in case the relationship doesn’t work out. The heartbreak alone is enough to deal with, you need that comfort zone you can escape to knowing that they won’t be part of.
Love isn’t everything
If there’s one thing I truly believe, this is it. We tend to hold on to that feeling that wakes up every single cell inside us.. Because what better feeling can anyone have than to be in love? That’s wrong…
As beautiful as love is, it can also be the reason of your misery. Sometimes (or actually most times) we end up falling in love with the wrong people, people who aren’t good for us, who bring out the worst in us.. people who suck the life out of you and make your life miserable. All this in the name of love?
Don’t overlook the importance of family, compatibility, ambition and trust.
The truth always comes out
No matter how good you are at lying or cheating, your partner will always find out the truth somehow. This is the worst thing that could ever happen, so if you think what you have is special, don’t be stupid!
One lie could break down the wall of trust and no relationship works out if there’s no trust between the partners.
Some things are just not meant to be
There are times when you feel that this person is the only person you want to spend your life with, when you just know that you’ve met the person of your dreams or that you’ll never ever love anyone the way you love them.
Unfortunately, sometimes this feeling is not enough; it is definitely worth fighting for until you can’t fight no more, but sometimes other variables and factors that are out of your hands interfere and make it somewhat of a hopeless case.
Whether it’s your parents who are objecting (for logical reasons) or you’re just unable to overcome certain obstacles, you must understand that love is not everything. Even though you might think you will never feel this way about anyone else, the world won’t end.
One day (hopefully), someone will come along and sweep you off your feet… Don’t let love lead you to make the wrong decisions.
Always go for the person that loves you more
My mother always used to tell me this, and I never truly understood it until now. I always thought that being lucky enough to love a person with all your heart was a true blessing. Little did I know that it could be a curse, if you end up having deeper feelings than the other person.
As much as it is important to have a sufficient amount of feelings for your partner, the person with deeper feelings will always get hurt… Try as much as possible to protect your heart.
Letting go is sometimes the logical and most practical thing to do
Being a fighter, I never even understood what the term “letting go” meant. It always felt like it was the easy way out or that the person was just not trying hard enough.
Yes, this could be true if you haven’t done everything you could possibly do to make it work, but there are times when there is no longer anything in your hands to do… That is when letting go is the most practical solution.
Broken hearts can be mended
It always feels like the end of the world, or like this pain is unbearable. However, time really does heal all wounds and one day you’ll wake up feeling that it doesn’t hurt as much, until it miraculously disappears.
Life is meant to be lived, don’t waste it on feeling sorry for yourself. Keep in mind that as long as you have chocolate, you can get through anything!
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss “Your 2014 Guide To Breakups“
