Why No One Can Replace Your Girlfriends

The relationship a girl has with her girlfriends is a very special and particular kind. In most cases, they practically become a second family to her.

And if you take a few groups of girlfriends, no matter where they come from or what they do for a living, you will find countless similarities in the dynamics between each group.

There are some sort of universal activities any group of girls partake in once they’ve declared a close friendship. Here are the most common:

 

 

1. You over-analyze everything anyone says or does

 

Does this mean he likes me? He put “dot dot dot” … What does that even mean? Check your Instagram. Did you see what she posted?! Do you think she’s jealous? She’s so jealous. Did you see what I posted? Do you think it’ll make him jealous?!

 

 

2. You gossip, swear not to gossip any more, then gossip all over again

 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but…” and whatever comes after that is gossip, and you should take it the wrong way. “So I’m not supposed to say anything, but…” and whatever comes after that is definitely gossip and will be shared with pretty much everyone you know. “Don’t tell anyone, but…” The cycle of gossip never ends.

 

 

3. You have a two-hour conversation about what one, some or all of you should wear

 

There doesn’t even need to be a special occasion or an upcoming event for that conversation to happen. It could take a group of girls hours to decide everything they wear to the T on a normal work/school day. And if it’s a special occasion or an ex is going to be there, it could take weeks of planning!

 

 

4. You have brainstorming sessions about ways to talk to a guy one of you is interested in

 

The most ridiculous ways, might I add. Girls, if you’re interested in a guy, find a sensible and casual way to approach him. Do NOT listen to your friend who tells you to drop your phone in front of him to get his attention. Just don’t!

 

 

5. You have pity parties

 

Essential ingredients: your PJs, a box of cupcakes and/or two tubs of ice cream. Stuff yourselves senseless and complain about everything that has gone or is going wrong with your careers, relationships and basically everything else. No matter how perfect your little lives are, one thing or the other will always happen to induce some drama that calls for wallowing in group pity.

 

 

6. You conduct entire conversations based on “what if” scenarios

 

“I would be so mad at her if she did that.” “If she did that, we would totally back you up.” “If he doesn’t back you up, you should break up with him.” “If you break up with him, you should date so-and-so instead.” “OMG if you and so-and-so get married, you would have the cutest kids!”

 

 

7. You complain about how your lives aren’t anything like the ones in the movies/books.

 

The men are different, what you can afford with the money you make is different, the daily rhythm of your lives is different, etc. It really takes us a while to realize that even when they come with an “inspired by a true story” tagline, movies and books were never meant to be realistic.

 

 

8. Yet you think someone should write a book or show about you

 

Yes, you are the next Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. We all are.

 

 

9. You’ve developed your own dictionary

 

You’ve come up with words and expressions only your group understands.

 

 

10. You constantly talk about how your lives need to change and promise to start tomorrow

 

Your lives are headed nowhere you thought they would, you’ve broken your diet 10 times the past two days, the routine is killing all of you and yet here you are, still sitting at the same table, at the same cafe every day, eating chocolate molten cake.

 

 

11. It takes you days to decide where/what to eat

 

It’s a goddamn nightmare. Sometimes, it turns into a riddle that is so intensely complex only Sherlock Holmes could solve it.

 

 

12. When someone tells one of you anything, they’re practically saying it to the entire group

 

We’re sorry, but nothing’s really gonna change about that.

 

 

13. You talk about everything. Literally everything.

 

We talk about hopes, dreams, plans, fears, careers, relationships, politics, books, movies and everything in between. That’s why no human relationship on earth could even come close to what a girl has with her girlfriends.

 

 

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss You Know You’ve Been Friends For Too Long When…