Mommy Diaries: An Open Letter to Mothers Who Act Like Horribly Judgmental Mean Girls Online

I’m going to have to warn you, this is an over the top rant. I am angry and I am using this diary as a tool to voice my frustration and anger. I am going to sound irrational and crazy. And that’s okay with me.

What is wrong with you people? You women… you horribly judgmental mean girls. Is your life so miserable that you must spread misery and shame with every word you type on social media? Must you bring others down with an evil glare while you size them up? Are you so insecure with your role that you feel the need to constantly destroy people to build yourself up? Because I hate to break it to you, honey, it doesn’t work that way.

Your light will not shine any brighter. This is not a winner takes all kind of life. You are not a goddess. You certainly are not acting like one. If anything, your snarky rude judgments will only eat at whatever soul you have left til you’re left with nothing but a bottomless pit of frown lines and frenemies. Back off. If you do not have something supportive or useful to say, why are you commenting on a mommy post in the first place? Do not use other women’s failures as the stepping-stones towards your success.

I’ve recently joined a number of different Facebook mommy groups. Some about natural parenting, some as a place to vent… they’re quite useful and entertaining. Most of the time. Until you see a helpless mother ask a normal question about her child when all of a sudden the evil trolls of the Internet world begin sharpening their claws to rip her head off.

For example, on one of these lovely pages, a first-time mom was genuinely concerned about her relationship with her baby. She felt that her child wasn’t connected to her. It happens. It’s totally normal. Rather than comforting this already distraught mom or giving her useful tips or even better, shutting your trap, some moms felt the need to judge her parenting, making bitchy comments like, “She probably leaves her baby with the nanny all the time” and more disgusting hate like that.

Why? Why must you spew such venom? How does mommy-bashing help you grow as a human being? Did your hair grow longer when you pressed enter? Are your cheeks rosier? Did your husband love you more? Do you have a group of evil minions passing out high fives every time you shut someone down online? While your comments might make for interesting coffee talk with fellow mommies the next day, I can bet you money you lost their respect with your hateful vomit.

So there’s this new invention on the market. This rocker swingy thing that helps moms of colicky kids get shit done. The person posting the picture innocently asks other moms what they think. Rather than a simple, “Yes, it’s a good idea” or “No, I don’t like it…” the bashing began. Evil mamas began commenting with horrible words like, “What’s next? A robot that breastfeeds?*” Or other vicious questions like, “Why did you have the baby if you don’t have time to soothe your own child?” MAYBE BECAUSE I THOUGHT I COULD STILL TAKE A DAMN SHOWER?!

You people are toxic. You have issues that are so horribly taking over your minds that you no longer see straight. You have turned this world into a competition between women. You should empower your sisters, not throw obstacles in their way. Now please back away from your keyboard until you surgically remove the stick that has been shoved up your ass. Ask yourself please just how necessary your comment is before making it. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Or just think about your mama, would she be proud of you?

Oh, and your friends probably don’t like you either.

*I wish.

WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss Mommy Diaries: Can We All Just Stop Judging Other Moms.