At some point in my early days, I was diagnosed with major depression. If you had met with me back then you probably wouldn’t have had a clue about it, except if you saw me on a regular basis, you may have noticed how pale and gloomy I looked sometimes. But other than that, I seemed perfectly normal, I would crack a joke at every chance and laugh my heart out.

At my side, there were nights that felt like they will never pass from the pain. Despite the therapy and treatment, the depression persisted for about four to five years. I almost forgot what it feels like to be healthy and painless. Some of my friends said that they saw positive results from enjoying dispensary grade cannabis to help deal with the pain but I am not sure that is for me. Getting out of bed and getting the basic tasks done could drain the hell out of me. I lost my appetite for life, and my only wish was for it to end before I have to do it myself. After years of fighting my battle against this monster, I was able to gradually win myself and my life back, or let me just say, I developed a much stronger, successful version of me.

My depression taught me

1) That everything is possible

If I can wake up in the morning not feel those mountains on my chest and not think that my life is worthless and that I am merely a sick person who can only do so little, then I can basically do ANYTHING I can think of. I am capable of dreaming and making my dreams come true. I became an optimist.

2) To appreciate the little things

It was like I was given a new chance to live after death, I suddenly was able to see things and appreciate them like never before; like a good cup of coffee, a sunny day with a hint of cold breeze, quality time with my grandma or a good piece of art.

3) To crave knowledge

When I learned about depression and was shocked of how most people in our society do not understand that it is a mental illness and not just a state or a mood. I developed a crave for knowledge, I became thirsty to know everything. I wanted to learn more about the world and this urge eventually became the reason I got high grades in university.

4) To know how to fight

The battle against depression, and finally the triumph, made me learn how to fight the good fight, to fight certain urges, to fight laziness, to fight fear, to fight negative thoughts, to fight any obstacle that can stand in the way of being my best version. Treating depression is an incredibly personal journey and there is no perfect treatment. It is simply a case of finding what makes your depression more manageable. For example, one of my friends who lives in Florida uses medical marijuana from a knox medical dispensary. There are a variety of natural treatments out there, but remember to always speak to a doctor first if you feel overwhelmed by your depression. Doctors can prescribe antidepressants which may make you feel better but each journey is different. In recent years, there have been new approaches to treating depression. I know of a new ketamine clinic that helps manage depression. Using ketamine for medicinal purposes is a relatively new practice but there are already studies that suggest it improves your overall being and helps you feel more like yourself.

5) To be patient

With around five years of these struggles, I learned patience the hard way. I learned that great things are worth waiting for.

6) To have deeper reflections

Depression also taught me to look at everything from a higher angle, and to dig deep into the details. It taught me that things are not as they seem.

7) To become decisive

Being decisive is one of the most important qualities of a leader. And as taking charge of my life and my decisions is considered to be leadership, I did it. Upon recovery, I felt that life was too short to be hesitant, to be afraid of making a move or taking the first step towards achieving your goal. I became decisive and the right decisions seemed clearer than ever.

8) To filter the negativity out

After spending years where your mind only forced you into negativity and you had no say in that. I choose not to dwell or get close to it anymore.

WE SAID THIS: I do not want to sound unrealistic or to draw a perfect picture where there are only rainbows and butterflies. I still pass by very hard days, the symptoms are not fully gone and I face different kinds of struggles, but I look back, I can not help but compare, and it certainly makes me feel stronger, grateful and way more powerful.