I’m a Parent Who Just Wants to Sleep a Full Night on Valentine’s Day

Everyone is getting ready for that one day of sparkly pink, rose and all shades in between. Our newsfeed is nothing but people subtly hinting at gifts they’d like to get on the special day; and others subtly complaining via memes about their single status.

Well, I’ve got news for you all and it is not subtle. I am roaring as loud as a Donald Trump tweet and declaring what I want for Valentine’s day. I want my beauty sleep. I want to rest. I don’t want to wake up looking like the the walking dead. I don’t want to take a toddler to the bathroom at 5 am.

Via tumblr

I don’t want to come face-to-face with a pile of laundry. I want a clean sink without lifting a finger. No homeworks, positive parenting, school emails or limiting screen time.

Roses? Chocolates? Perfumes? Teddy bears? Yeah, right!!! I fell for that trap in high school. Thank you, Mr. You ain’t fooling me twice.

A candlelight dinner at home? I’ll definitely pass. That means cooking and post-dinner clean up. Dinner at a restaurant? At this stage of my life, I’m too cynical to accept paying EGP 1,500 for a meal that will most probably make me fat. Not to mention finding someone to babysit. Nothing beats getting a phone call that the baby is awake.

I believe I speak on behalf of many moms and a few dads, trust me, your husband might be napping, but that screeching sound of toddlers can ruin any blissful sleep. We want to be left alone.

WE SAID THIS: I might dream of solitude, but here are a few romantic venues another hopeful/blind writer suggested!