I Don’t Do Requests


I have written a version of this article this on my blog a few years ago, I am revisiting it as I have encountered more incidents that need to be addressed. I think I speak on behalf of a lot of Dj’s when I say that requests annoy me (and I hardly take any seriously).

The last thing I want to do when I am about to cue up a track is having to answer to your “can you play Nosa” (who does that?) request. Equally asking me to play Shakira is not going to happen either! So unless you are in a wedding, a high school prom, or in a karaoke night in a bar just don’t ask a DJ for requests. If you absolutely have to request a song because your life will be ruined if you don’t hear it now, please make sure that the song requested is in the genre or vibe that is being played. Asking for Madonna when someone is in the middle of a deep house set is not an appropriate request.

 If you want music on demand I suggest you do the following:

1-    Get your iPod

2-    Make a play list

3-    Hook it up to speakers

4-    Invite friends over

5-    Have a party!

Not only is it annoying, it is also distracting because usually the conversation doesn’t end there, and I have to hear your life story about how you have always wanted to be a Dj or how your boyfriend is dancing with a girl and you want me to play “your” song to get his attention.  I don’t think so (accompanied with a big confused look on my face)

Yes you can go up to a Dj, and give a compliment, criticism even, but don’t tell us how to do our job (we don’t tell you how to do your marketing strategies, feasibility studies or accounting).

Here are some things you need to know before approaching a DJ:

1– EVERY TRACK HAS A BEAT: So coming up to ask for something with a beat is an oxymoron
2- WE DON’T CARE IF IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: Unless you are my sister I honestly don’t care I won’t change the music but ill wish you happy birthday (and no I won’t use the mic

3- WE DON’T CARE THAT YOU ARE LEAVING SOON: How is this  my problem?!
4- NO YOU CAN’T DJ: Unless you are my friend and a Dj (and I asked you to take over because I have to do a bathroom run, since the ladies room cues in ALL the clubs are a joke and I won’t come back in time to mix in the next track) you are not allowed to touch the console. Touching the “buttons” is not going to do you any good because this equipment is expensive and Dj’s spend a lot of money purchasing it and sometimes it is property of the club and they are held accountable for damage.

(A not so nice drunk girl came up to me and hit the cue button “stop” basically while a track was playing, she turns around laughs and declares“ I am a Dj!” umm no you are not, the only thing you are is on your way out)

5- I AM NOT COAT CHECK, your bags, coats, drinks and phones should be on your table or somewhere else that is not the DJ booth

6- YES I WILL BE PLAYING THIS ALL NIGHT: very simply because this is why I am here for. A good way to avoid this is check what kind of party it is you are going to, and what kind of music is advertised because some Djs are hired for the genre they spin therefore going to house night and walking up to the Dj and asking for “el Morgei7a” is not going to work. To be fair I might take some requests from the promoter or the owner of the club depending on mood.

7-GET YOUR GENERES STRAIGHT: Asking for “vocal uplifting house” means nothing to me or to anyone else for that matter because there is no such thing. Also asking me to play House while I am already playing it just makes me want to cry, really.

8- DON’T ASK “WHAT HAPPENS IF I PULL THIS?” Because you won’t like the answer

9- DON’T SUGGEST YOUR IPOD/Phone LIST TO ME: I am not sure what I can do to help you. This ridiculous command comes about in one of two ways .Option 1 – You ask for a song, I tell you I don’t have it You tell me it’s on YouTube, and I can just play it off of there (shove phone in my face).

Option 2- Everyone will love it. First of all there is no one song everyone loves I have yet to live to see the day. In all cases don’t shove your phone in my face

10- DON’T HARASS THE DJ: I can’t talk on behalf of the guys on this, but please stop creeping me out (no kissing my hand, no hugging in fact just don’t touch me) it’s called harassment

11– I SWEAR I DON’T HAVE THAT SONG If I say I don’t have Call Me Maybe, I don’t have it probably because it annoys me. I understand the convenience that smart phones, wireless Internet and data service offers you, but we’re not going to magically pull a song out of our *** in the middle of a party.

12- I WONT PLAY A SONG TWICE: While some Djs don’t care (please start caring please) I do! If I already played your song, I’m not going to play it again. 9 times out of 10, that song is really annoying or is incredibly played out.