How Egypt Will Change Now That Donald Trump Is President

 

NEWSFLASH: It won’t. At least the following things, which happen to be very important, will not be affected whatso-f******-ever (excuse my French, but Trump just won the elections and is now the President of the United freakin’ States). We, and most Egyptians, have been following the elections really closely and made the mistake of emotionally investing our minds and souls into this whole thing. Well, now that it’s all over, let’s take a look at the things that will NOT change in our country.

 

 

We still have no sugar

 

 

 

Traffic is still absolutely horrendous

 

 

 

You still have to sell your kidneys and liver to afford an education for your children

 

 

 

Sexual harassment is still being encouraged on live TV 

 

 

 

Uber and Careem drivers still don’t know how to use the goddamn GPS

 

 

 

Nannies still want to get paid in dollars

 

 

 

The Egyptian pound is still effing floating

 

 

 

TE Data’s Internet is still slower than motherfreakin’ snails

 

 

 

Gas is still so fifty shades of expensive

 

 

 

People are still protesting  on November 11th

 

 

WE SAID THIS: Let’s take a break from Al-Amreekan and focus on us showeya ba2a!