Diaries of a Bride to Be: Breaking it to the Parents, Pt 1

Note: Hey, everyone! Just letting you guys know I’m writing this post from Lyon, France! I’m here with my parents visiting Yassine’s SUPER French grandma and great aunt. I’ll tell you some more details about that in a later post…

ANYWAY. Try to remember when you were a kid (or even as a grown adult), and you did something really bad that you just know your parents would hang you from a lamppost if they found out. Now, imagine that scenario, and that heavy feeling in your gut that I know you’ve all had before.

That’s the feeling that was running like electricity through my body as soon as that plane landed and my mom summoned my cousin Sarah and I to the car at the airport. The high from our amazing trip to Paris was definitely over.

As soon as we got home, I ran to my savior: my grandpa. I gave him a briefing about the whole trip, not missing one detail – from our day at Disney to the meeting with Yassine’s dad.

Also, I told him that Yassine expressed his love for Egypt and his willingness to actually live here. This was actually one of my only conditions when we started dating, that Egypt has to be our permanent residence. As soon as I said that, a light bulb lit and Grandpa said: “He’s perfect for you. We have to tell your mom right now.”

My heart fell. But I knew it had to be done. I wanted to get it over with before she found out from somewhere else and skinned me alive. He called her and told her to come to the garden, meanwhile calming me down.

As soon as she sat, he kept asking her: Are you relaxed? Do you want coffee? Here, have a cigarette. How’s your mood?

Very smooth, Grandpa. So OF COURSE she figured something was up, and as soon as she did she exclaimed: “Let me tell you both something: If he is black, there is no way in hell I’m agreeing to this, no matter what you say!”

Note: I have an obsession with black men, I just think they’re so beautiful. It’s not as strong now since I got with Yassine, of course. But my mom’s worst fear was that I’d bring home a black guy, run away and marry him. I apologize to all my black people – older generation Arabs are a bit racist, it’s just a culture thing.

So anyway, after a mini argument with mom that for the hundredth time, it’s not about skin color and my children will still be beautiful with nappy hair, Grandpa steps in and yells: “Don’t worry, he’s white as snow!”

And just like magic, she calms down in complete silence (which is pretty rare for my mother) and listens as Grandpa recites the story to her from A to Z. I began to relax throughout, gradually laying back comfortably in my chair, UNTIL Grandpa finished and she turns to me and in complete disappointment said: “I thought you’d tell me first. I thought we were closer than that.”

MEGA guilt trip. I felt so bad because I love my mom to death and we are close. But I just wanted her to agree to this relationship so bad and thought it best to tell her when everything was all set. It’s not your normal, everyday relationship and my parents are kind of conservative when it comes to marrying non-Egyptians. Their imaginations run wild thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong (as you will see is exactly what my dad did.)

She was still obviously annoyed, and the only thing keeping her from whooping my butt was that my grandpa was on my side (phew!). After solacing her for forever (she enjoys every minute of that), she asks a million questions about every single thing you could think of (500 of them double-checking if he was in fact a Muslim), and then finally comes to peace with it (for that moment). Then she says: “Good luck telling your dad.”

My heart falls, AGAIN. AND my hands do a little shiver. It was nighttime, thankfully, and I went straight to bed before my dad got back.

Now, my dad is not all that scary, if you know how to handle him. You have to be direct, straightforward, and exchange information with him with the same amount of confidence that he has (or at least try to).

I learned the technique over the years, but this was a completely different ball game. No matter what I said, what he was going to hear was: “Hey Dad, I have a boyfriend, and that graduation gift you got me to discover the wonders of Paris? Well, I actually went there to see my French/Morrocan boyfriend.”

My only lifeline was Grandpa. I was banking on him to keep Dad at a safe distance, so I wouldn’t be choked alive. I thought about that choking scenario all night actually, and of course, didn’t get one ounce of sleep.

WE SAID THIS: Check out more Bride to Be diaries here!