Having a best friend from the opposite sex is like a gift from God – until one of you starts to have feelings for the other. If you’re lucky and the other person feels the same way, this could literally be the best thing that could ever happen to you. You could end up spending your entire life with the one person you call home.
It feels so easy and no effort is actually needed, because this person knows you inside out and is the one person that totally accepts you the way you are.
It is kind of like a fairy tale, but the one thing they don’t tell us is that it doesn’t always work out that way…
And when it doesn’t, you’ll never be prepared enough for what is about to hit you. So is it really worth it?
1. They know too much
Starting out as best friends means there’s no way you’ll ever be able to get away with ANYTHING! They can read your mind; they know when you’re up to something, when you’re keeping something from them or when you’re not your usual self. So there’s no point in trying to even slightly bend the truth, because you’re an open book to your best friend.
You also met them at a time when it was OK to tell them all the juicy details of practically anything that ever happened to you. There is no “what happened in the past should be left in the past” with your best friend, they’ve been through it all!
2. Someone always gets hurt
The thing with falling for your best friend is that it just happens when you least expect it. You could be friends for 15 years, but that one day they make a total dork of themselves just to make you laugh when you’re feeling blue, could make you feel something more.
But just because you’re a priority and they would literally do anything for you, it doesn’t mean they have romantic feelings for you. And if you’re the person to fall first, you’re always at risk at getting hurt… really really hurt.
3. Just because you’re best friends it doesn’t mean you’ll make a good couple
The person we are with our friends is not the same as the person we become when we’re together as a couple. Expectations are enough to ruin everything, and transitioning into something more will automatically lead to more expectations.
But what if you don’t have anything else to give? What if you were happy just the way you were? What if you realize down the road that you liked them better as just your best friend? What happens then?
4. You’ll discover a side of them you never knew existed
My best friend once told me that it was so easy with us because we have no expectations. He’s there most of the time because he wants to be, but if he were to be too busy, stuck at work or just not in the mood, it would be OK because there aren’t any expectations.
If a partner, on the other hand, missed out on a really important occasion or incident, it would lead to a whole lot of drama. Bottom line is, you never really know how needy, how protective, how controlling or how passive they are unless you are together as a couple. Only then will you discover a side you’ve never seen before.
5. You’ll have no one to turn to
Whenever you had relationship trouble, you would always run to your best friend. You would spend hours just bitching about how all men are satanic devils or how all women are evil witches.
You would both joke around and feel comforted by the idea that you knew that there was still hope because there was one person from the opposite sex that was not like that. One person, the person right in front of you, that made you still believe that there was hope, because you have proof that there are still good people out there.
What happens when you’re up all night because your best friend proves they’re just like everyone else? Who do you go to? And more importantly, who will ever restore your faith?
6. You’ll lose your best friend and the love of your life
As with any relationship, there is always the chance that things will get messy. But what happens when it doesn’t work out? You have no best friend to clean up the mess and you have to go through the symptoms of a break up all on your own!
So instead of just dealing with the grief of a breakup, you’ll be mourning the loss of your comfort zone, your happy place and the person you felt most yourself with, too!
7. There is no going back to being just friends
When one person confesses how they really feel, there is no going back to being just friends. If the other partner doesn’t feel the same way, things will get awkward and your best friend will become more cautious around you, which will only result in more fights, greater distance and the realization that you just cannot be friends anymore.
Before you know it, you’ll start regretting ever having feelings for them and ruining what used to be the only thing that kept you stable.
8. There’s no worse broken heart you can ever get
Getting your heart broken is a bummer. No matter how many heartaches you’ve been through it will always feel as intense as the first time. It will always feel like the end of the world and like nothing will ever mend your broken heart again.
But no pain can ever define the heartbreak of losing a best friend. You find yourself missing the friend version, the person who made you laugh until your tummy hurt, the person you’d call in the middle of the night just because you had a bad dream and they’d gladly stay on the phone with you, calming you down until you fell asleep again, the person who was your shoulder to cry on… only to realize that shoulder is no longer there, and the laughs are replaced by tears and the only thing that seems to make sense is the emptiness and void in your heart that was filled up by your best friend.
The worst thing is, no matter what they’ve done, no matter how much they’ve hurt you you can never hate them, because at the end of the day, in your head they’ll always be your best friend.
Yes, we move on, yes we’ll fall in love again and yes the world doesn’t end… But believe me when I say, no one will ever fill that place in your heart that once belonged to your best friend.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss “Can a Guy and a Girl Be JUST Friends?”