Sarah Alblowi
The grey area of emotional abuse is always overlooked in comparison to physical and sexual abuse. As kids, most of us were not educated about the topic of physiological abuse and often dealt with it unknowingly. Emotional abuse has been a word tossed around like anxiety, which has gained social popularity in the 21st century. However, it seems like people don’t comprehend the tragic process and outcome of the manipulative act. This type of trauma is hard to detect since it doesn’t leave bruises or physical scars.
Let’s talk about the meaning, according to Psychology Today, emotional abuse is the attempt to control someone by using their vulnerable emotions as a weapon against them. This can have the same restraint as a blow to the face, instead of hitting, humiliation, and criticism as piercing bullets. This blurry force comes from anyone, including family, friends, and partners. The continuous toxic cycle will push a person to lose their sanity, self-confidence, and identity. Such abusive behavior lasts years, directing a person into psychological consequences like fear, anxiety, and depression.
Here are some warning signs you should keep an eye on:
Manipulation
They often don’t take “no” for an answer and push your boundaries. This is highly toxic since they expect to get what they want at any expense of your wellbeing. Being in this manipulative state of constant emotional mind games can cloud your judgment. Victims often feel defeated as they fail to enforce their walls and end up comprising their decisions.
They don’t respect your feelings
An emotional abuser simply doesn’t care! It hurts if you love the person and they don’t give the same care and appreciation back. As unfair as it is, the person doesn’t respect you enough. In fact, they use this vulnerable moment to reach a goal in mind. If your feelings are dismissed as dramatic, this person is demeaning since your feelings shouldn’t be compromised.
Verbal abuse
Name calling, swearing, and negative comments are signs of an unhealthy relationship. Often, the abuser will attempt to humiliate and criticize the person to a degrading level. This belittling act destroyed a person’s confidence, making them feel useless and easily controlled.
Control
This is a non-verbal form of action that’s not physically harming, yet emotionally damaging. If you ever go out and this person doesn’t give you the freedom, this might be a subtle sign. If you differ in opinion and they resist by shutting you down instantly and enforcing their way, it’s a big fat red flag. A healthy relationship should have open communication and movement without hesitance and fear. Someone who loves and respects you would never prohibit outside interactions and connections unless they’re threatened.
Wrongful accusation
Abusers love the opportunity to point fingers and play blame games. In reality, this is a sign of their deep insecurity. Most likely, they accuse their partners of cheating or suspect them of being dishonest or loyal behind their back. Negative energy like this will make an innocent faithful person lose their mind, not even trusting themselves.
Threatening
Victims of emotional abuse are often co-dependent for affection and validation, something abusers fuel on. Benefiting off their vulnerability, they jump to conclusions of “ I will leave you” or “if you don’t do this..”. This alarming action can be blurred by loved ones trying to keep a person on their side, so they fall into the trap. This can land victims in unwanted situations and unexpected troubles.
Rationalizing behavior
They are never wrong! They don’t even admit to a problem or are ever apologetic. This toxic denial will destroy a person’s standards and their ethical views. Abusers often dance around the subject and bend the dispute at you, making you second guess yourself.
You feel uneasy
Humans are blessed with great gut instincts that we repeatedly ignore to avoid getting our feelings hurt. If you’re feeling unsafe or anxious around them, trust your gut! Don’t question or fight what your heart is trying to warn you from. People can say whatever they want, but a vibe says everything.