12 Times My Mother Comes Out Of My Mouth Every Day
Don’t we all just make fun of the hilarious yet hysterical things moms say? If they aren’t obsessing over a dirty spot around the house, then it’s the mess in the bedrooms, dealing with a nagging hungry family, unnecessarily fearing for the life of everyone around them or arranging marriages for their kids — and then it starts happening slowly and painfully: You turn into your mother.
Everything you have ever made fun of becomes your life mantra. Here are 12 times I fail to cover my mouth before I blurt out all the things that annoyed the hell out of me as a child.
“Why is every light in the house on?”
“You will not leave the house without an undershirt. You‘ll catch a cold.”
“Didn’t I say you’d catch a cold?”
“The remote control is right in front of you. Do I have to look for everything myself?”
The makwagy is never safe from my death glare while counting the hangers and shirts. I always say, “No, these are 10 T-shirts, I gave you 11,” just for the sake of suspense… I know I only gave him 10!
“Why did I buy peaches if no one is going to eat them?” And then yell, “They’ll rot in the fridge!” A classic hysterical mom quote…
I always find myself screaming “Allaho Akbar” at my toddler whenever I try to grab her attention. She doesn’t understand what Allaho or Akbar is, but I keep on saying it, anyway…
“Don’t blame me if you don’t like the food. I asked you twice what you wanted for lunch and you said, ‘Anything’.” Of course, that is followed by the infamous lecture about world hunger and how much they will all suffer if I leave them…
“When will you be back? Don’t be late. There might be protests in the streets after tomorrow.”
“I am not the maid.”
“Sheel taba2ak.”
“Why is the bathroom floor wet?” I know why it’s wet, everyone around me knows as well, but I always ask instead of stating the obvious. It’s a mother thing…
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 12 Signs You Have an Egyptian Mom.
