10 Ways Egyptians Abuse Rather Than Eat Mangoes

By Dina Hashish On Aug 4, 2015

When the heat wave strikes and our skin starts burning, the one thing that takes over our imagination is getting messy with a mango. Eating mangoes is no ordinary or mundane chore; it is a ritual, a lifestyle and a belief.

Here are 10 ways we manage to sabotage mangoes. Read carefully and find your calling.

The Bathtub

This is not a feeding method but a childhood memory engraved in Egyptian hearts. Parents trap us in a bathtub, wearing nothing but underwear, throw mangoes at us and we act like piranhas in a fish tank.

Efresh El Gornal

A cleaning detergent that can eliminate mango stains after an Egyptian feast is yet to be invented, hence the newspaper-covered floor. You can be the most delicate girl, speak French and have a permanent yet abnormally raised pinkie and still eat on the floor like an animal.

Spooning

Create your own tiny cups of heaven and start digging. Who wants to spoon a partner when you can spoon a fruit made in heaven? Not only is this a less savage way of engulfing mangoes but it also ends with a treat, the big slimy seed.

Suck the seed

You suck, lick, nibble and moan until your jaws hurt and your heart blissfully explodes.

The Engineer

The geometry freak, the OCD victim and the artist draw perfect tiny squares of exquisite dimensions that will fit perfectly into your mouth. You eat, look admirably at the squares, eat some more then admire the squares again. It’s a vicious cycle.

Blend and squeeze

Who hasn’t overdosed on a glass of Fakhfakhina at some point of his college years?

Konafa

This is abuse of a heavenly fruit at its best. No matter how much we disagree with the invasion of mango garnished konafa, our hearts still skip a beat when we take that first bite.

Peel then devour

You might get confused when eating mangoes; some of us peel the skin and start eating it like an apple. You can treat it as a banana too, peel from the top and squeeze from the bottom. Yes, mango does that to your sanity.