“Just let it go!” How many times have you heard that phrase and wanted to punch someone in the face? People tend to think that when someone has done you wrong, it is so easy to just throw them in the trash and forget they ever existed.
If only it were that easy, there wouldn’t be such a thing as heartache and we’d all move on and live our lives in harmony and peace.
Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy and though we know that logic says this person should be part of a chapter in our lives we need to end, sometimes it just doesn’t work that way.
So for everyone in this most unpleasant dilemma of not being able to do what everyone around you is making you feel you should, you’re not alone and here’s why it is completely normal to find it difficult to let go.
You don’t have a switch off button
People tend to believe that just because a person did you wrong, you should automatically hate them. As much as we would like to feel that way, there is no button that makes you forget how you feel about this person in an instant.
The only thing extra you will feel is the pain, which also doesn’t have a switch off button. But like they say, time heals all wounds, right?
You still have good memories to hold on to
One mistake or even dozens of them doesn’t erase all the good things this person has done. They don’t erase the laughs, the memories and all the times they were there for you.
As much as you’d like to forget them, once the anger has started to cool down, those memories will come running back and you’ll find yourself missing them all over again. After all, no one makes you laugh as much as they do… And those memories will always be precious.
You miss the friend version of them
Being with someone doesn’t mean you’re lovey dovey all the time. And so, they become your best friend, your partner in crime and the person you spend most of your time with. What happens when all that is taken away?
You find yourself losing the friend they were along with the relationship that just went down the drain and that is just even more difficult than losing a loved one. So holding on means that you at least don’t lose your best friend – that is if you don’t kill each other first.
No one gets you like they do
There’s a reason you fell for this special someone and that’s exactly it, they’re special. Not just in the sense that you’ve never met anyone like them, but also because you can be totally yourself around them. They bring out both the best and worst in you and know how to deal with all your mood swings.
You don’t need to ask for something, they can practically read your mind and you don’t even need to pretend. Life is just a whole lot easier when they’re around.
They mean the world to you
Even though it isn’t healthy, somehow your world revolved around them. And with their disappearance, your world is on the verge of shattering to pieces.
Loving someone that much and losing them only leaves you with a huge void inside, so holding on a little longer is the only way you can stop yourself from falling.
You’re stubborn
Yes, there are a hundred reasons that make letting go the practical thing to do. But what if you could change those reasons? What if they can be fixed? Isn’t it worth it?
That inner struggle that we all have is inevitable, but at least when you’ve gone through this phase, you’ll know that you did everything you possibly could.
You’re just not ready
Sometimes we know what’s right for us, but sometimes we just don’t have the energy or the power to do it.
Yes, we know we’ll never be entirely ready and yes, we know that we’re just in denial. But we’ll snap out of it when we need to, just not right now.
Because they’re like an addiction
You get used to the little things, the good morning texts, someone checking in every hour, knowing you have someone to turn to and you even get used to the fights.
You become so engrossed in the routine, that you can’t imagine a life without them. It’s like the world makes more sense when they’re around – even if they making your life a living hell.
And most importantly, because you’ve invested so much in them
Just the thought that all that time, effort and care were for nothing is devastating.
Giving this person another chance to prove you wrong and prove that they actually care makes a lot more sense than having to go through the withdrawal symptoms and losing faith and trust in everything you once believed in.
Yes, there are times when you should get out of the relationship and just suck it up. But, it just isn’t that easy. So take all the time you need and one day, you’ll make the right decision.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss The Art of Letting Go.