Secrets No One Tells You Before Having a Baby

Before having your first baby, a newborn to you means a cute blue or pink crib and a hat with bunny ears. You withstand long agonizing months of nausea and weight gain till you finally give birth. You watch the movies and read the articles and memes about the exhaustion that follows, but still you think you know it all.

The baby arrives and boom, you’re in a whirlwind of hormones. Those to-do lists and dreams you’ve had are thrown out of the window and you’re left with the new you!

Here are secrets no one tells you before you become a parent:

Beauty sleep

Via Zicam

Say goodbye to naps and hello to black circles around both eyes. Just when you thought maternity leave means a break from working hours, you’re stuck with a worse type of alarm!

No matter how much they prepare you for a screaming baby every half an hour, you still can’t believe it’s that bad.

Food

Via tumblr

Your menu will be mainly leftovers. Whatever you offer the babies, it will not satisfy them, unless it’s completely forbidden. So, all those leftovers will be your main meals because you don’t have time or energy to cook anything.

Screaming

Via Youtube

For some reason, screaming will be your normal speaking tone now. People will point it out, but you won’t be able to hear yourself.

Nagging

Via Parenting Ideas

And no, it’s not the toddlers’ nags, it’s you. If you think a child asking you the same thing a hundred times in three seconds is bad, you’ll be surprised by yourself.

You will nag endlessly for them to put on their shoes, finish their food, not to spill their milk, or answer you when you call. It gets so bad sometimes that you end up mixing screams and nags for audio effects. I call it ‘screa-nagging’.

Budget

Via tumblr

I remember the days when budgets existed. My life was organized and predictable. Only when you have a child you will realize how expensive living in Egypt is.

Supporting a child needs the income of a village. From schools, sports training, clubs memberships, play areas entrance fees, diapers, wipes, and so much more. I write a minimum shopping list every single day and end up spending so much more.

Time management

Via Capital Thoughts

Surprisingly, you’ll be a time-management guru. There is no way in hell you allow yourself to procrastinate when you know there is school or nursery pick-up time.

There is breakfast time, lunch, and dinner time, practice time, and homework time, and the list goes on. Laying on bed and staring at the cieling for hours is not going to happen anymore.


WE SAID THIS: Oh, and good luck finding a nanny who won’t disappear after a month. Lots of fun times ahead of you.

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