Valentine’s day is just around the corner and the annual reminder of everyone’s single status is taking its toll on Egyptians. We decided to be optimistic this week and consider all the reasons we should be rejoicing solitude on the reddest and most glittery week of the year.
1. You keep the drama for your mama
Who wants to fight over the stupidest things when you can sit and peacefully watch 10 episodes of whatever whenever you feel like it?
2. Less dates equals less driving
You might miss the feeling of belonging to someone, but always remember it could have been worse. What if you fall in love with a girl who lives in Mohandessin?
3. Zero emotional commitment
You don’t need to feel or even pretend to feel anything. Is there anything more passive aggressive than being asked “Did you miss me?” You can check your WhatsApp once a week and the world will not end.
4. You have more money for yourself
You can be the selfish prick of your dreams. Why spend money on dinners, gifts and cinemas when you can lavish yourself with useless items that will make you feel important for three to four minutes?
5. You can leave the country the minute you feel like it
Want to pack your bags and go to Ras Shitan? No problem whatsoever. Want to live somewhere other than Egypt? Kiss your friends and parents goodbye and start over.
6. Fact: You can be a loser at work
The peer pressure of making money to support a family or the fear of being judged as passive by your partner is long gone. You can afford to make mistakes.
7. You can wear whatever you want
You can be fashion forward and own a crazy wardrobe without your subconscious thinking what if he/she doesn’t like it? Absolutely no one will rain on your favorite dress’s parade.
8. The bed is all yours
It’s freezing this month. Why share the quilt with someone only to wake up with exposed and freezing feet?
9. You don’t need to justify a single thing
Being single means doing whatever whenever however without being asked “Why?”
10. Freedom of social media interaction
You see a girl you like, just add her on Facebook. Your co-worker wrote a funny status, go ahead and like it without being accused of not loving your partner anymore.
11. No house chores unless you want to
Cleaning, laundry, doing the dishes, ironing and making up the beds are just some of the highlights of a responsible married couple. As a single soul, you can enjoy not cooking for a week without a care in the world.
12. Mafish tamareen
We love kids for sure, but taking your kids to soccer and swim practice every day of the week? No, thank you. I’ll be fine doing nothing important all day.
13. Mafish “yala 2om zaker”
Getting into a political fight that lasts for three hours with your aunt over dinner is more tolerable than convincing a child to do anything.
14. Mafish 2ams
Live your life free of the nakkad of maleesh, mafish, mana kwayesa aho, mesh alba boozi and 7asal kheer.
15. And, most importantly, mafeesh dabdoob Valentine’s day
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 10 Reasons Why You’re Alone This Valentine’s Day.