People Who Love Food Are God’s Gift to Humanity

How many weekends have been ruined by picky eaters who won’t join you at your favorite restaurant? Do you crave donuts but everyone you know is on a diet? How often do you find yourself eating French fries alone because your wife has super powers and has the ability to resist crispy potatoes? We know it sucks; your life is horrifying, especially when you see the glorious specimen of people who love food.



When you are around them, everything tastes better



There is nothing worse than a nagging eater at the dining table and that is never what you get with food lovers. They know the food is missing salt, they noticed how soft the batter is and they might not like the temperature of the chocolate fondue, but they are so head-over-heels in love with food that they decide to accept all the flaws and make different choices next time. Dinner around them is always a pleasant experience. They never rain on your parade.



Just the sight of food makes them sigh


Portrait of young woman enjoying the cake

It’s been half an hour since your friend ordered a steak, and suddenly he’s looking far into the horizon and sighing. You think he zoned out, but he’s actually staring at the waiter holding his heavenly order, which oozes a mix of herbal scents with a halo made of steam. It is mesmerizing, and I don’t mean the steak, I’m talking about the sight of your hypnotized friend.



When they look at food, they visualize art


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When they look at mombar, they see a chocolate éclair. When they taste spinach, they become one with the tree of life. The sound of tashet el molokheya is nothing but Adele serenading their souls.



They know exactly what you should order at every restaurant



The perks of having a food lover in your life is that you can skip the five minutes you waste reading a menu and end up choosing the wrong plate. They know the best at every restaurant.



Dessert to them is crucial



I love dessert, but I find eating it alone too disturbing for my well-being and that is what happens every time I’m out with friends. They can eat thousands of calories, but God forbid they order cake. Oh no! That is not good for their diet. With food lovers, you never hear the words calories, diet, healthy, vegan, cholesterol or carbs, they simply share your dessert and moan.



Whichever restaurant you choose, they never ask you to reconsider



So you love sushi, but your wife is disgusted. If she comprehends the delicacy and fine art of life and food, she will never ask what the hell she is supposed to eat while you enjoy your 40 makis. She will order tempura and imagine Kentucky Fried Chicken.



Do you feel like watching a movie while devouring a pizza? They’re on board



Contrary to everyone’s belief, they don’t eat consistently. It’s just that they know precisely what and when to eat. They know pizza and movies are soulmates, konafa and Ramez Galal shows come hand-in-hand, while fish and Friday are BFFs.



The way they talk about food



It’s like your first love, the birth of your child, camping in the desert on a full moon night, it is every kind of love that drove you wild and every awesomeness that ever existed. It’s the love of food.


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