For all the situations we can’t fix, we wish there was a magic spell to aid us. Well now we can…in our minds at least. Accio magic!
1. Mobiliza7ma!
A spell to split the road into two and have all the cars fall into the cracks when there’s a traffic jam. Nobody else’s errand is as important as yours anyway.
2. Levigosah!
Masla7agiyeen, beg7een, they’re all annoying. Just hang them upside down and get on with your life. Clearly they don’t have one.
3. Expellisot!
For the shameless harasser whose tongue you wish you could cut off, a charm to do just that. For all the times he wouldn’t shut up…by all means zap him!
4. Expecto Kersh!
To adequately punish those who irritate us with their talzee2 and over-friendliness. Go away, we hate you.
5. E2lebligins!
For those of us who have to suffer through discriminatory and racist conversations our distant family members or peers exercise—we can now turn them into their hated race. Not looking so fetching now, eh?
6. Wingardium Zebaliosar!
For the frequent litterer, whom we constantly try to stop from throwing that cigarette butt out the car window. This jinx will boomerang it right back onto their faces. Fun.
7. Mat2obliviatsh!
This incantation fixes those oh-so-awkward moments when you can’t remember that one distant family member, or that friend-of-a-friend who keeps bumping into you everywhere.
8. Taxi Immobulus!
This one is for all the times the taxi driver wouldn’t turn on the 3adad, took the longer route, or went the way he knew would have more traffic. Die evil taxi…after you get out, of course.
9. Expecto Kahraba/ Aguamaya
Because duh, we live in Egypt.
10. Matarrius!
In the likely event of a sandstorm or just general crap weather, hello pollution, you can summon a gentle rainy drizzle to wash that sand out of your hair.
11. Expelliorgan!
For the rude, ignorant, and vulgar aunt of yours who believes women belong at home and in the kitchen. Away with your feminine parts, you anti-feminist wench. You don’t deserve them.
12. Expecto7ebeni!
Because somewhere deep, deep inside you there may just be a romantic who desperately wishes ebn/bent el geran would love them back.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss “Egyptian Superpowers“